Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Miracle
MIRACLE, n. An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
2007 Update: An inexplicably salutary result such as a rational explanation.
Now, if my being first ain't a miracle then I don't know what is because miracles are few and far in between in España though that does not mean I am not WAITING!
You hear me UNIVERSO!
*sigh*
I missed you hermano mio! So off I go but not without blowing some boho kisses your way first!
MIRACLE, n. The fulfillment of the prediction of an oracle. MIRACLE OF SCIENCE: A rational explanation from a laboratory, to a politician or the National Enquirer. Or CBS, for that matter. Usually results in yet another cut to public funding of the sciences. Bitter? Me? Nah ...
Miracle: the rarest of phenomena in antiquity, the bar has since been set so low that the word now covers the surfactant effects of common household cleaning products.
I was a miracle baby. There are newspaper headlines to prove it. I was born with my esophagus detached from my stomach. They operated on me when I was three days old -- and I was the first baby to ever live through this not-so-uncommon-as-on-might-think birth defect.
“Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.” ~Dr. Haim Ginott
A few weeks ago, I was in another city and decided to do some shopping. I was checking out some pants in a store and the clerk whipped out another pair from the shelf saying, "Ma'am, you're looking at a large. You are a medium. Would you like to try these on?"
Miracle: A smaller size, when you thought you weren't
dancing quill: that's amazing, you really are a miracle
I need a miracle...every day. This fact is a clear remnant of my entering college a Dead Head and exited a Punk. For those who didin't spend there time going to Dead shows -- it was common practice back in the day to roam outside of a concert with a finger pointing up if you didn't have a ticket. This was called "Miracle Me" after the Dead song "I Need a Miracle." The mission was complete when you not only got a ticket -- but were handed a ticket by a total stranger. Yes. It happened.
O Ceallaigh, something we in the social services share with scientists: Finding one who feels adequately funded would be a miracle.
Al, in my house that isn't a lower bar.
Neva, it's a great quote. Don't listen to Al. He's surly.
And to think, Quill, you use that miracle on liver and onions.
Karma, congratulations. Which deity gets the candle?
Good definition, Mule. That's the kind of skepticism I like to see here.
Mutha, I only went to one Dead concert. In Oakland. Probably 1989. I overheard old, long-haired hippies in home made tie-dyes criticizing the young folk in factory made tie-dyes. "Alternative" is a big word for a small difference.
Doug: The important thing is you went to one. That good time is gone. I found that "Who is the most authentic Dead Head" stuff was at a minimum most of the time. Older hippies tended to be a bit cranky though -- I must admit.
Doug, it would appear I've established quite the headbanging theme here this week since I thought of Ozzy Osborne's Miracle Man. (Nod to my curly sis's '80s earworm and to my SIS - you rock those pants, woman!)
Quilly - I loved your miracle story! Not a direct reference to your story, but I just remembered my FIL always says, "Coincidences are miracles, but God remains anonymous."
Mutha, I remember that! Although not a classic Dead Head myself(Box of Rain is one of my pivotal albums from my youth), I've been to a decent number of Dead shows and always a good time was had.
It'll be a miracle if I ever get to comment first. -sigh- I almost made it but saw Miz B had commented first and at I wasn't ready to be second so I went back to sleep.
if not the miracle that is Barry Manilow -- how 'bout Fantasia?
i know -- it'll be a miracle if i can stop coming up with these stupid links. i'm working on it (well... not really. actually, it'll be a miracle if i ever *do*...)
Minka -- i SWEAR i thought of that right off the bat (or baguette, as the case may be), too. and, let's face it, "Miracle Whip" is also WAY better tasting than mayo (of course, i really *hate* mayo, but that's beside the point)
when i was around 5, my Sunday school teacher asked me to define the word miracle, and i said:
"When something that's not supposed to happen, does." i suppose the opposite might hold true for the likes of Paris Hilton, eh?
Miracle: something I seek every day. It is sometimes microscopic to others and sometimes unattainable by me. Perhaps I have sought in the wrong place when this happens.
The fact that "rayzot" is the word verification may in itself be one of those hidden miracles. If only I could interpret its deeper meaning!
32 comments:
Oooh! FIRST!!!!!
Now, if my being first ain't a miracle then I don't know what is because miracles are few and far in between in España though that does not mean I am not WAITING!
You hear me UNIVERSO!
*sigh*
I missed you hermano mio! So off I go but not without blowing some boho kisses your way first!
Ciao for now!
MIRACLE, n. The fulfillment of the prediction of an oracle. MIRACLE OF SCIENCE: A rational explanation from a laboratory, to a politician or the National Enquirer. Or CBS, for that matter. Usually results in yet another cut to public funding of the sciences. Bitter? Me? Nah ...
Miracle: the rarest of phenomena in antiquity, the bar has since been set so low that the word now covers the surfactant effects of common household cleaning products.
Al: i belieive Albert Einstein explained that phenomenon thusly:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
or not. still, it's a good quote.
I was a miracle baby. There are newspaper headlines to prove it. I was born with my esophagus detached from my stomach. They operated on me when I was three days old -- and I was the first baby to ever live through this not-so-uncommon-as-on-might-think birth defect.
“Teachers are expected to reach unattainable goals with inadequate tools. The miracle is that at times they accomplish this impossible task.” ~Dr. Haim Ginott
A few weeks ago, I was in another city and decided to do some shopping. I was checking out some pants in a store and the clerk whipped out another pair from the shelf saying, "Ma'am, you're looking at a large. You are a medium. Would you like to try these on?"
Miracle: A smaller size, when you thought you weren't
dancing quill: that's amazing, you really are a miracle
agnqd: agony, not quite done
Miracle: An unusual collision of accidents.
I need a miracle...every day. This fact is a clear remnant of my entering college a Dead Head and exited a Punk.
For those who didin't spend there time going to Dead shows -- it was common practice back in the day to roam outside of a concert with a finger pointing up if you didn't have a ticket. This was called "Miracle Me" after the Dead song "I Need a Miracle."
The mission was complete when you not only got a ticket -- but were handed a ticket by a total stranger. Yes. It happened.
Geez Quill. Wonderful story. It is great to be in the "presence" of a miracle.
Gracias, Hermana. Eres ton propio milagro.
O Ceallaigh, something we in the social services share with scientists: Finding one who feels adequately funded would be a miracle.
Al, in my house that isn't a lower bar.
Neva, it's a great quote. Don't listen to Al. He's surly.
And to think, Quill, you use that miracle on liver and onions.
Karma, congratulations. Which deity gets the candle?
Good definition, Mule. That's the kind of skepticism I like to see here.
Mutha, I only went to one Dead concert. In Oakland. Probably 1989. I overheard old, long-haired hippies in home made tie-dyes criticizing the young folk in factory made tie-dyes. "Alternative" is a big word for a small difference.
Now I have a Mike and the Mechanics ear worm, thanks so much for that.
Miracle~ finding time for my online fun, hallelujah.
Doug: The important thing is you went to one. That good time is gone.
I found that "Who is the most authentic Dead Head" stuff was at a minimum most of the time. Older hippies tended to be a bit cranky though -- I must admit.
Doug, it would appear I've established quite the headbanging theme here this week since I thought of Ozzy Osborne's Miracle Man. (Nod to my curly sis's '80s earworm and to my SIS - you rock those pants, woman!)
Quilly - I loved your miracle story! Not a direct reference to your story, but I just remembered my FIL always says, "Coincidences are miracles, but God remains anonymous."
Just because you don't know how it happened or how it works, doesn't make it a miracle.
"Though a good deal is too strange too be believed, nothing is too strange to have happened." Thomas Hardy
Mutha, I remember that! Although not a classic Dead Head myself(Box of Rain is one of my pivotal albums from my youth), I've been to a decent number of Dead shows and always a good time was had.
For procrastinators, a way of life.
Logo: better Mike and the Mechanics than Barry Manilow, i alway say! ; )
That last line defines miracle by the way, not a Dead show (well perhaps that too). Okay, bye now.
It'll be a miracle if I ever get to comment first. -sigh- I almost made it but saw Miz B had commented first and at I wasn't ready to be second so I went back to sleep.
Another Miracle will be if my inbox ever empties.
if not the miracle that is Barry Manilow -- how 'bout Fantasia?
i know -- it'll be a miracle if i can stop coming up with these stupid links. i'm working on it (well... not really. actually, it'll be a miracle if i ever *do*...)
miracle? with a whip you have the taste of mayonnaise with half the fat!
I really don´t know why that is the first thing that popped into my head.
miracle: that people like paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson don´t fall down more!
Minka, I think the real miracle may be that they're not pushed down more.
Although I take that back, Paris Hilton seems to have made headlines for getting decked recently. Somebody had to do it.
Minka -- i SWEAR i thought of that right off the bat (or baguette, as the case may be), too. and, let's face it, "Miracle Whip" is also WAY better tasting than mayo (of course, i really *hate* mayo, but that's beside the point)
when i was around 5, my Sunday school teacher asked me to define the word miracle, and i said:
"When something that's not supposed to happen, does." i suppose the opposite might hold true for the likes of Paris Hilton, eh?
Logo, I have a vague 80s memory of Mike and The Mechanics. Mike had been in another band, right? I don't remember the earworm, though.
Well, bless them, then, Mutha.
Sar, I was just thinking the same thing!
TLP, I've also heard "Some things you have to see to believe. Some you have to believe to see."
That's good, G. A Miracle is a lottery ticket from an earlier age.
Puppybrose, I am not following that link.
G, gotcha.
Jenna, that's what the "delete" key is for.
Puppy, I thought that was for the Disney Classic. That was mean.
Minka, I think they must follow a very strict gum chewing regimen.
G, was it a monk? I hope it was a monk.
So, Puppybrose, the miracle is when they stay up, not when they go down?
It will be a miracle if I really do all that I plan on doing tomorrow. Or maybe it'll be motivation and momentum, I'm really not sure...
(and I would argue that rentals are never returned in quite the same condition, btw)
Actonbell, it will be something of a miracle if I get out of bed tomorrow. *yawn*
Ah, Mademoiselle Icy, c'est l'amour! Love is a miracle when happens to an enemy, a curse when it falls on a friend.
It is a miracle that there is ALWAYS a post at Waking Ambrose, without fail, every single day of the week, that is witty and full of wry humor.
Minka - there is no miracle involved in Miracle Whip. Gross.
Miracle: topping Doug's definition.
Terry, there's no more miracle in plagiarism than in Miracle Whip. It's hard work!
Indie, and the sunrise, too, although that's rarer.
Miracle: something I seek every day. It is sometimes microscopic to others and sometimes unattainable by me. Perhaps I have sought in the wrong place when this happens.
The fact that "rayzot" is the word verification may in itself be one of those hidden miracles. If only I could interpret its deeper meaning!
Post a Comment