Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Story #19, in which a country girl expresses herself.
To hear a farmhand's story you usually only have to ask (below) To read, hop up on the John Deere 5220, as used in the actual story.
There's a valuable lesson in this story, Doug:
Never underestimate the lady within the power of a woman.
That's my twist on a classic cliche. ;)
And thank God for that, Sar. A woman with the power to be a lady is very attractive.
Good story, Doug. The tulip is wilting.
it takes a thorough gentleman like you to make a lady feel every bit like one, Doug
Great story, Doug. Too funny.
Sar, there's always a valuable lesson. Doesn't seem to help. Cliche's help more.
S, I'm not sure how to take "The tulip is wilting." I pretend I didn't see it.
Karma, did I mention I always hold the barn door open?
I meant it's being replaced by the Mighty Oak.
S, I may have to pretend I didn't see that either. Botany is dangerous, my friend.
Botany is benign; it's your mind that's dangerous.
What a wonderful story!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going to pretend that I didn't see all the comments above; no I'm not...
Cultivate: Doug has cultivated a community of dedicated bloggers; Sar cultivates great twists on cliches--sounded better in my head...
That was just the sweetest story! Reminds me of Calamity Jane.
I always read and listen to your stories. Pick up different things that way. But one point that I wanted to be clear on was that Razor had a pet bull, not a PIT bull. Whoa!
Semisweet- "Botany is benign; it's your mind that's dangerous," is a wonderful line. I'm stealing it.
I like the way you cultivate, Doug ol' boy. You treat us weeds as gently as you do the flowers. Too bad we can't see your expression when you respond to our comments. Now THAT would be funny!
S, that's the kind of line I don't mind being the victim of. Double skunk. Well done.
Thanks, Pia, consider this the farmer's market of sarcasm
Thanks, Actonbell. I've found being well-raised to be a pretty disappointing advantage, but it does have its moments.
TLP, that's nice of you. I'm flattered you do either. Yes, pet bull. Actually, I wish I'd had a camera then. Hercules with his PBR was something to see. Probably I'd have to warn Actonbell before I posted the picture, though.
Thank you, Lula, and you're right. Especially after some of your early comments the look on my face must have been priceless.
"Engulfed" your hand. That's one heckuva lady!
I wonder what she would be like if she were a women's libber?
Oh, Fred, don't go there!
Wow, it must have taken you a lot of guts to treat her in a ladylike way. I was so scared she would come down on you like a sharp blade.
I was just wondering, do you atcually like flowers and attend to them? I just didn´t know that about you yet!
sorry the last coment was me, Monika! Tryggvi was still logged on on my computer... sorry about that!
Fred, she was woman of substance either way. How'd I do, TLP?
Haha, Monika. I was more than surprised to see Tryggvi here. There was nothing to fear from Razor, she's a very nice person as long as (A) You aren't her husband or (B) you know when you've said enough. And regarding your question, I garden a little. What are you suggesting?
Good for you for treating everyone like ladies and gentlemen, even us bloggers.
I enjoyed the story.
A verifier for Pansi: nubapswt: Nude baptism is SWEET!!!!
Sorry, I had to go there. Mom was a women's libber, still is, and I love her to pieces for always instructing Dad how to ensure his daughters had the proper tools to succeed. Yet, she could imbibe far more than Dad, and was always the one who tucked us all in.
She's a fiesty one, Mom is. I wish I lived closer to her; we're about three hours away. Even now, she lectures me on how to raise my daughters. (And, most of the time, she's right!)
Have a great weekend.
Thanks, Weirsdo, I'm glad. Also glad that the Lady Pansi got a verifier to define.
Don't fret, Fred. TLP is very forgiving in my experience. Your mom sounds terrific.
Oh, there was nothing to forgive! Razor WAS a liberated woman. She just didn't recognize it.
I became liberated in the sixth grade. I remember the day well. I've been trouble ever since.
You gotta love a woman who says what she wants.
Razor defines the wit that one finds at this blog every day.
You're a brave man, Doug. You hitchhike and offer to help down a woman like that? I think I'd keep ten feet away at all times.
And since my mom was liberated when I was born, I've been in trouble all my life. ESPECIALLY after I arrived in Pennsylvania from Los Angeles in 1972. The kids here didn't know what to make of me.
TLP, are you going to try to tell us you weren't trouble in the fifth grade? Strains credulity.
Sure, Masil, especially if that's what she wants.
Dddragon, I think I somehow over-ogred Razor. Very nice (subject to the conditions I gave Monika, above) and saner than most in the desert. The girlishness was a surprise, though. She practically curtsied.
Okay. I was a little trouble before the sixth grade. Not that much.
gdggrte: good god gertie!
That is one tough broad, but she likes to be reminded that she's still a lady. How very cute! I bet she could've beaten you at arm wrestling.
Oh, yeah, sure, mom. you were no trouble a'tall at ANY point, were you?
Cultivate, v.t.- A gentle but necessary feeding of the mind to insure a clearer picture of what was and what is as well as what can be; without it ignoance prevails. Just look at the President.
I at first thought the word was razor...now I could do something with that word.
TLP, I recognize you under the title "Blog Queen and Empress of the Verifier." I thought so, by the way.
Jamie Dawn, there was never a moment of doubt. Pretty sure I could've took her husband, though.
Like mother, like daughter, Dddragon. Hard to believe between TLP and Goa'uld there's a missing generation.
Have at it, Alice.
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