Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
BRIBE, n. That which enables a member of the California Legislature to live on his pay without any dishonest economies.
2006 Update: An interruption by corruption of the fermentation of an administration. The substitution of misdeed for misrule.
Bribe: What every mother carries in her purse. M&M's and Cherios.
Bribe: Give someone something so that they comment at your blog.
Bribe: a gift every woman possesses. Often in association with sex.
"Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she is the householder." Thornton Wilder
Indeterminacy's onto something. One might be able to score "more bang for the bribe" by slipping a few shekels to the media - bloggers, even - rather than politicians, cops, judges, or, uhh, life partners.
If bloggers, indeed, have a price, here's somebody who's trying to find out what that might be:
(Ewww.) If the price is right, tomorrow's word could be "Bose".
Bribe: tit for tat?
Or quim pro quo.
And now, back to work...
manchego-that was very well done. :-) In fact, you're all right on the money today. I got nothing. Except, is time to go bribe the kids to eat breakfast and get ready for school.
and a? quim pro quo? Good definition. You're as naughty as the rest of
bribe n. comment left on a blog given in hopes of reciprocation
i.e. I only comment on the blogs of people who comment on mine.
Bribe: a "little bite" or mesoameric arm-twisting.
"Say the magic word and the duck will come down and you win $50". I believe the $50 goes to Indeterminancy.
Oh yeah, bribe - see above.
Did Brian Bribe our little Penguin, so he could be first???
I only bribe for fish. ;)
Quilly, is that why??? I'll be right over. :)
Under the table exchange of goods. No, not that. xoxo
IMBRIBE, v. To suck up all the surrounding ... no, wait, that's IMBIBE. My apologies, Senator. My bad. Have another martini. Courtesy of my brother's construction company. Do spare him a thought when you can?
Brian, you mean psychotropic medication is bribery?
Yeah, Indie. How's that photo coming along?
Solace, "in association with?" You are young.
Good quote, Manchego. Maybe add "and the veil behind which the householder thinks she's the housekeeper."
a, you have no idea how cheaply this space can be bought, rented or borrowed. Bose, huh?
Puppybrose, a, I'm sure I have no idea what you're suggesting. If I did, I'd be laughing, though.
Kyahgirl, thanks for helping me maintain some order here. Good dog.
Quilldancer, the currency of impoverished blogging. Be right over.
Mule, you just think it's mesoamerican because of the exchange rate.
You bet your life, g.
Mo'a, it's a good question. Poetry for favors is the oldest transaction.
Brian, fish for favors is the second oldest.
Mireille, that's my leg.
O Ceallaigh, I'd like to believe its that subtle.
Oh how thine eyes
look deep into the sea
my love of thee
has no end in sight
for thou I do my all
I will catch fish
for my lovely penguin
and feed her with care.
Actually, Doug, I was trying to sound intelligent... guess it didn't work very well.
Brian and Doug -- all good public school teachers know the value of both threats and bribery. I am no exception. However, since neither of you are currently 5th grade students, I was pleasantly surprised by your instant compliance. I am now reevaluating to scope of my influence.
Bribe, n. The application of market forces to where they are most desperately needed: the swamp of morality.
Yes Mrs. Quilldancer.
Pay per do
Bribe: hedge fund
Quilldancer, that bribery door swings both ways, girlfriend! (just sayin'...)
Puppybrose -- I have a large enough family that I've learned that lesson as well. I use my powers very judiciously.
Bribe: having someone at your buck and call.
(by the way... is it too soon to start bribing folks for votes regarding this week's Caption Contest?)
Bribe: LOTS OF CHOCOLATE!
Uh, that'd actually be an inference to bribing me.
Now, what'll it take to get you fine folks over to my place to see who are current finalists are (*ahem* OC & Neva) and use my fancy schmancy new caption poll ~AND~ come join me at Pia's place where I'm her guest? Hmmm??
Puppybrose - *wipes a tear* you make me so proud!
Bribe: the palm-grease that keeps the machine rolling in your direction. The original 'win-win situation'.
(A and Indie: muahahahaha!!)
What I want to know is who is responsible for bribing Minka? This is probably the first time I commented here before her and it just doesn't feel the same.
Brian...and with a gentle smile she bribes rigth back at him :)
a smile to your lover
a tear to you father
a promise to yourself
Bribe: A hamuburger offered on Tuesday, for payment today
Bribe - "Thea if you eat your lunch you can have a cookie for dessert." How I get my child to eat her lunch.
Peanuts are a marvelous bribe with which to lure birds into my yard, for my own personal viewing pleasure.
For some reason, the only thing I can think of is "The Bribe of Frankenstein".
Maybe I can get Ahnold to play Frankenstein.
Oh, moi digs that.
I did a list of properly defined U. S. of A. Holy Words awhile ago.
Stay on Groovin' Safari,
Moi done did forget to sign-in.
Brian, how can that not make Minka feel secure?
Intelligent but not worldly, Solace. I was kidding anyway. Still am.
Quilly, you have more pupils than you know.
a4g, that's a very good one.
Ha ha, Lammy. Like hiring a contractor but for real.
Puppy, maybe. Maybe not.
Very wise, Quilly.
Puppybrose, it's never to soon but let's remember the amoeba too.
Sar, I guess you didn't get the box I sent you to only nominate one member of the Waking Ambrose community per week?
Mushroom, win-win only if everyone stays bribed.
Squaregirl, I have to think it was you. What's her price?
Very pretty, Minka and very funny. Thanks for letting poet Minka pop out.
V.I. have you noticed the I.O.U. is never the bribe?
Crack, CJ! Crack cocaine! Come on, give me something.
Terry, they probably say that about feathers.
That's pretty funny, Poobah.
Doug: I read recently there's some African country where passing bribes is so commonplace that a rule was made that soccer refs can take bribes as long as they don't affect the outcome of the game. (Wouldn't one side feel as though they weren't getting their money's worth?)
Bribes that work on Jamie Dawn:
dark chocolate truffles
forget O'C?? there's not enough money to make me do that, bub! that said... how much to make YOU forget him? (what can i say? it's early in the game, and he's already got a nice lead...)
Bribe: A foul-smelling treat which the Human bribes its dogs with to get them to shut the **** up and go back in their enclosure!
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