Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, November 17, 2006
SARDINE, n. A small and very palatable fish to which many unpalatable persons hesitate to compare themselves.
I'm no sardine. The Roaring Gimlet
2006 Update: A skinned congregant, blessed salty and anointed with oil.
Morning you lot!
having a sleep-in are we?!
And Douglas, the alphabet is comprised of more than just the letter "S"!
Have a chuckle, why don´t ye?!
What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave the key outside!
How do sardines get to school?
well, at least I tried!
Oh Monika...way too early for such humor. Haven't even had my second cup of coffee. :-)
Sardine: Exactly what I feel like while attending to the morning and/or evening commute on New York City's West Side Highway.
Joel, i just saw a quote on a site dedicated to "New Yorkisms" that speaks well to that:
"Somewhere a sardine is turning green with envy."
(better you in that traffic than me, babe. or not)
Monika? HAHAHAHA! (good ones)
Sardines: fun game. Everyone squeezes into a small space, and sometimes one gets squeezed by someone fun. Not that I would know. Just guessin'.
SARDINE, v. To share a meal with a brawling belle. Be sure she's wearing the heavy gloves. And if she reaches for her feet, run.
(no, I haven't had my caffeine yet either.)
sardine -- ah, memories, in my high school days my heart throb drove a little red Carmenghia and we stuffed it with six people on a regular basis. Once we tried ten but then HT couldn't start the car.
Sardine: (verb) as in "to sardine": A mechanism which inhibits the stealing of my pizza leftovers.
Did I just leave a blank comment? If I did it because in New York we have so little personal space that we're all sardines, the only fish aside from herring that I won't eat.
Salutations, sister. So you say. Those jokes found me right where I am this morning
Joel, when they start coming through the trains with olive oil, you might want to buy a donkey.
Puppybrose, I'm relieved its envy my sardines are green with.
TLP, you're a rascal!
O Ceallaigh, can I buy you a cup?
Quill, I knew a girl in high school who wanted nothing more than a boy with Karmann-Ghia. Sadly, the best I could offer was a Toyota hatchback.
Mule you and I could share a pizza, once we agreed on weapons and witnesses.
Pia, maybe it was an invisible blank comment.
For sentimental reasons, amongst species of pointless fish, I prefer the anchovy:
In our little circle, we once had a friend, Ralph, whom we all knew was a guy that couldn't tell a joke, period, end of story. During a long ride packed in a car like sardines, and after we all traded dozens of good and bad ones to kill some time, Ralph very tentatively spoke up:
"Hey, I got one, I got one...", he said. We all fell silent, more than a little surprised, as Ralph took the stage. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, let me think"... he said, then he squinted and strained for about five seconds, and finally announced with pride, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, I got it. Ready?"
He cleared his throat and asked proudly: "What do Popeye and Olive Oyl have in common?"
We all looked at each other as he beamed and smiled at us, but then, suddenly furrowing his brow, he said, "No wait, wait, I mean, 'What do Popeye and anchovies have in common?
It took us a while, but we eventually figured it out before Ralph pronounced the official punchline, and we all laughed hysterically.
The dense Ralph never quite understood why, but we all agreed that, while his would have been a mediocre joke if he'd delivered it correctly, he'd made it a stellar one by his mis-telling of it.
Its PG-13. Anybody wanna take a shot at finishing it for me? I gotta go.
I'll raise a toast to sardines
I'd like to respectfully request that you all swim over to Sar's place pack yourselves in like canned sardines and vote for me in the caption contest.
Also: Don't ask me why I spelled Karmanghia with a C. I will just say it is Doug's fault. I am so addicted to WA I charge straight to my computer every AM before shaking the cobwebs from my brain or rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
Al Olive Oyl I presume.
I lovelovelove sardines....sorry Neva for stealing your style :)
When I was in High School I took a sardine sandwich with me.....noses wrinkled and teasing started....Oh!! did I tell you this was here in the Sates....in Iceland they would have asked me to share with them :)
Sardines, herring, anchovies....mana from the Gods.
However, I do not like to be packed inn like a sardine....claustorphobia....ugh!!!Although, I don't want to be alone on an elevator....one or two people would be nice, just in case it stops between floors....someone has to whipe my brow.
Sardines. Those of us on public transportation during rush hour. Thank you for elbowing me in the head Mr. Man. Thank you for whapping me in the stomach with that massive purse, Crazy Lady. Whee. Morning/Evening fun.
'Sardine complex': the psychological condition arising from being one small fish in a big family of people with no physical boundaries.
Sardines - gastronomic pleasure
...pure delight. Thank the Lord for tinned fish. I'm with Mo'a - they are what's for lunch.
Kyah - move over you sardine! I was just coming to comment on that very same issue! I recall us also being quite the can of sardines in my older brother's VW bug, all shoved in going to school. No wonder I get edgey when people hover near me.
Now scram and go vote for me at SAR'S CAPTION CONTEST. Please.
Close, M'oa, very close. Slip a little PG13 phrase in front of "Olive Oyl" and you've got it.
oooo, Sooo close...
A salty fish known for its cynical wit.
Al - I'm trying to come up with the punchline, but my brain keeps trying to work "tuna" into it somehow.
Poor Ralph. Yep, I can finish that joke for you but I choose not to.
Haha, Karma. They're good that way.
Quill, it's my honor to be the source of your affliction.
Mo'a, in truth, they're good eatin' Like fish jerky.
Jenna, try doing a reading next time.
Kyah, you know a thing or two about that, if I remember right. Good thing dogs don't get complexes.
Terry, Mule and I really going to have to learn to share, huh?
G, I don't know about my vote. There's more than one sardine in the sea.
Al, you get the joke and lose the rating.
Quill? Oh, still trying fo Al's joke.
Diesel you're on the right track, now derail.
Sorry, Doug, I've let you down. :-(
Hey, Diesel, Tuna's great, but never in an anchovy joke.
Replace the word "Packed" in Quilly's "Packed in", using a very common word with a racy alternate meaning, and you've got it.
(Common, btw, is a phonetic hint. That should do it. But, after all this work, there's NO WAY any joke could ever still be funny.)
- - -
Sardine: For 21st Century Tokyo, the proof of concept.
Just to demonstrate that I haven't forgotten why Doug gathered us all here today.
Sardine is kind of like hide-n-seek. However, instead of everyone hiding and one person seeking you do the opposite, one hides and the rest seek. When a person finds the one hiding you must hide WITH them in the SAME place. So in the end, if you've played correctly, there should be about 20 people trying to cram into a space about the size of a baby's crib.
...yeah... doesn't seem like much fun does it?
Family legend has it that when I was just a toddler I fired my baby-sitter. She was drunk and I left her passed out and toddled myself on home to my grandfather, who was blind. Well, Gram came home and found me tucked up to the table with Gramps. We were having sardines and catsup on saltine crackers. Gramps was drinking coffee with milk, I was drinking milk with coffee. Such was my contentment that I was left home with gramps until my father remarried and took me away.
In Iceland we call that Hardfisk...mmmmm goood!!! Then there is chocolate and marzipan....good thing the holidays are coming....
Now I won't tell you what I think of a turkey...thank Heaven for mashed potatoes and pies.
Have a nice weekend :)
How's the boys and Aesop, are they behaving?
Doug, I understand. Owners are rarely as loyal as their dogs. Could you pass the link on to Walela?
Hmm, there's something familiar to me about this word.
Sardines, n. Inhabitants of the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, noted for their glassy-eyed stares, pungent odor, and habit of spending most of their time packed tightly into metal boxes. They are distinguished from Californians in that the Sardines speak Italian. Californians speak Spanish.
Hey G, my sister in sardine-ness. I see you figured out the hierarchy in Doug's house!!
oh i'm so sorry to be sarcastic here... but sardines suck. end of story.
Sardine: food item that causes worse breath than onions.
(and i should know... having dated a guy who enjoyed sandwiches made with *both* ingredients. ewwww.)
tuna, Diesel? i see where you're going with that. i'm laughing, even as i check to see when your next appointment with Dr. Hackensnarkenbush is.
Ahhh, my favorite sandwich...sardines and peanut butter.
Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
Creatures that belong in the water, not in a can, and DEFINITELY NOT on my plate!
sardine-my new description for my pants post holiday eating.
Haha, Al. No need to apologize.
Solace, not to me but I'm neither young nor friendly.
Quill, that's a sweet story. My maternal grandma used to give me coffee and social tea biscuits. If we'd stayed in Ohio I might have grown up a gentleman.
Mo'a, once I got used to the door-slamming and the skeer-licking and the sour grape harvesting all is well.
Sure, G. Walela voted for Quill. Ha!
Sar, it does sound like a mama in a small shoe, doesn't it?
a4g, como el pueblo de Cleveland tambien.
Kyah, was it a mystery?
Puppybrose, that sounds good to me too. A little garlic and you're just right. Hey, where'd everyone go?
Poobah, I'll take your word for that although one sandwich of each sounds grand.
Hermana, mariscos son vacas del mar.
Masil, may yours prosper.
Give Walela a pat and a doggie biscut for me.
A salty way to ruin a perfectly good pizza.
Wait, that's an anchovy.
A salty way to ruin a perfectly good piece of bread.
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