Monday, November 27, 2006

Abacus

ABACUS, n. In architecture, the upper part of a column, upon which, in all good architecture, sits the thoughtful stork pondering unutterable things.

2006 Update: A tool for census-takers and tax-collector in ancient china and wherever ceramic disks are enfranchised and obligated.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Abacus: A symptom that is best known for being caused by consuming too many leftovers.

Anonymous said...

Abacus: A Jim who played A Millionaire in A Gilligan's Island. (and, ah... if memory serves, and i believe it does, he played A Magoo, too.)

after a long gluttonous weekend -- what'd ya expect?

Sar said...

Abacus...hmmm...something doesn't quite add up here.

Mutha said...

Punny...you are too good for me.

Abacus: I had one when I was little and ended up having much more fun by using it as a kind of maraca.

Moral: When in doubt, shake your money maker? Money counter?

Ugh...I'll go spread my wit at work now.

Anonymous said...

Punny...had the same idea...Thurston Howell III. Like Mutha think the only use I ever made of an abacus was as a noisemaker.

Charlene Amsden said...

Abacus ancient pocket calculator (their pockets must have been bigger)

Anonymous said...

Abacus: an instrument used by pimps and players way back in the day to keep track of their "ASSets"

Anonymous said...

Abacus: In the Third World, this device is used to count livestock, tally crop harvests, and calculate the equivalent yield in TNT of atomic weapons. Countries like North Korea, that use all of their money to buy uranium enrichment centrifuges, can use their fingers instead. See chisenbop.

Logophile said...

Are there alot of places where ceramic disks are enfranchised and obligated?

Anonymous said...

Abacus: Sar and I have been thinking alike recently
or to curse the beginning of the alphabet

The amoeba said...

ABACUS, n. Foul language directed at the memory of a certain Swedish quartet of evil memory.

See y'all Thursday, chez moi. Assuming I don't get snowed in. I'm off to Minneapolis soon. "Stop at 'off'? I heard that!!

:)

Unknown said...

a calculated risk.

by the way, do you know teh penguin writes people's names in the snow??? go to:

http://www.star28.net/snow.html

Mo'a said...

A bac us: What is that? Oh Yes!!! that's us after four days of glutony...never mind, Slim Fast will take care of that :)

Charlene Amsden said...

Abacus several vampires behind me?

reaching, I know ... never mind, I'll go back to my own room ...

Anonymous said...

Abacus: A necklace made of math.

Unknown said...

Brian, is that like surliness?

Absolutely, Punnybrose, Jim! A cultural touchstone for me. Hey, why didn't you and Sar tell me about Monk? I saw that for the first time last night and watched a half-dozen episodes.

Nice, Sar. And see above. I expect you and Neva to tell me when there's something to watch on TV. Get right, woman!

Mutha, I'm a little embarrassed to admit it was one of my first toys, too. And I used it for an abacus.

Joel, do you still sometimes find yourself saying things like "Yaaaas, lovey?" I mean, not that I do.

Quilly, their iPods must have been gigantic.

Solace, I think the playa came into being with the Cadillac DeVille.

Al, that was a great definition. I see in Chisenbop, you cut off the fingers of those who can't do calculus.

Oregon, Logo.

Good pun, Pia. I usually get to "lmnop" before the swearing really starts.

O Ceallaigh, happy travels. You betcha.

Karma, I admit I'm intrigued.

In my case, Mo'a Two bac me.

Quill, you weren't stretching as far as I am now.

Mule, that's even pretty. You're truly a poet.

Anonymous said...

Abacus... A.Bad.Cus

Alana said...

something you can count on.

Minka said...

karma, you bet I do :) And elegantly so :)

abacus?
Doug, you really shouldn´t use verifiers as words!

Anonymous said...

Doug...I find myself quoting all the Gilligan Island characters quite liberally. I'm pretty sure the bulk of what culture (loosely defined)I may have is rooted in that show. Why I'm muttering the theme as I type. Pity me.

TLP said...

Abacus. A device for folks who are finger-and-toe challenged. I imagine that's why people used to have so many children. So that they could also count on their digits.

Anonymous said...

Abacus? Way before my time.

Thank god for calculators

Kyahgirl said...

I can't count the number of thoughts that go through my mind when I hear this word. Actually, there aren't any. 4 days left til your blog holiday. You don't need an abacus to count that!!

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, I think I'm suddenly going to have a lot of extra time on my hands in about 4 days -- Enough that I just might need an abacus to keep track of it. I trying to remember what I used to do with it ....

FelineFrisky said...

Now, Doug - Abacus? On a Monday? did you not put a sweetner in your early AM coffee? Sheesh! Abacus.....(mutters to oneself, sheesh!) D :)

Anonymous said...

Word verifier: ZTIZTVS...What teens get and a dose of Abacus clears up.

Of course, there are those nasty side effects...now where did I put those glasses?

DK

xo

Unknown said...

Karen, you talkin' to me?

Nice and square, Sherlock.

Minka, I know you don't do numbers but beads?

Joel, "Oh, this is a tale of our castaways, who left on a fateful trip..."

Hahaha, TLP, and tag for long division.

Jenna, you should have heard the blogging.

Nope, Kyah. I can measure by the ticket double-checking. The contractions are 2 hours apart.

Quilly, our friend OC is, I'm told, going to update his New Millenium Devil's Dictionary daily during my absence so the same game can go on over there.

Diane, why am I the one expected to be nice on Mondays?

Dewy, did you look on Brian's face?

Anonymous said...

"Yet what are all such gaieties to me whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?" ~ Lewis Carroll

remember, Lewis Carroll was a mathematician before he gained fame as a storyteller/pedophile. perhaps all those days slaving over an abacus skewed his fragile little mind? (just sayin'...)

Anonymous said...

Well Doug, he's not that feeble minded yet. On the other hand, unlike Brian, I don't need an abacus to count all the candles on the cake. :P

DK xo

Anonymous said...

We may soon need an abacus to keep track of...the days until your return. Yes that's it, the days until your return.

Anonymous said...

G: laughing. and laughing. that said, how *will* we manage?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Abacus.

Abacus, who?

If Abacus some cookies, maybe we'll feel better.

d'oh.

dddragon said...

An interesting looking toy that sits unused.

Anonymous said...

Punnybrose: Maybe we could try our hand as lexicographers in his absence? Or maybe just bake cookies...

jdgtoy: judging g's toys.

Anonymous said...

g: i'm wondering if we'll even be allowed to *look* at this blog in his absence, let alone take a crack at lexicography. (on the other hand...)

hey, wasn't Abacus the name of Stout's father in Tequila Mockingbird? (it is now -- at least in my head, where this hilarious parody exists)

you know, i wouldn't even be here if someone hadn't swiped my drool rag. hand it over and i'll go back to my corner...

Anonymous said...

Central Snark West??? Could work out. Of course you would need an abacus to count all the FCC violations. ;)

Charlene Amsden said...

Gee, Doug, that's exactly what it says at OC's place.

Anonymous said...

Abacus-The cursing sound when three of the members of ABBA bitch in unison.

Sar said...

Doug - I'll have you know, Actonbell and I both made reference to Monk in a previous set of comments. Can I help it if you're too old to remember?

Anonymous said...

Sar: you'd think he'd at least have known about Monk, right? (next up, Dexter. trust me, Doug, this is as "dark" as a show can possibly get. serial killer dark. and yet, it's funny in all the right places.)

by the way... in case anyone was curious and/or cares (and i just know you are and/or do)... Shayna's guest this week is none other than TEH PENGUIN. and she's a fine FINE guest, at that.

tsduff said...

Abacus: a nice toy. Some are shiny and fun to peck at. I don't do math. Ever.

Anonymous said...

I keep learning new things here--I didn't know that slab at the top of a column was an abacus. Never occurred to me that it had a name.

I agree with tsduff. Maybe I should get one of these toys for my cat.

Unknown said...

Puppybrose, it won't happen to me. I can't read.

Dewy, you're a different age?

G, I'm using a calendar but suit yourself.

Punnybrose, I bless you for each and every knock knock joke.

Brian, Central Snark West? That's funny. All are welcome here, just try not to spill your drinks while I'm out of town and no smoking pot in the attic.

Quill, see? I guess I should have dropped by before I spoke, huh?

Cindra, that's the only Abba recording I care to hear.

Sar, my bad. Apologies to you and Actonbell not Puppybrose for the time being. I enjoyed that show.

Puppybrose, thanks for letting us know. Penguin cameos are rare and never to be missed.

Terry, I'm that way with people.

Actonbell, I didn't know that a week ago either. Cool, huh?

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Abacus is a exstinkt dinosoar with very beedy eyes. I know becuase I read alot of sceience books. Abacus comes from Pig Latin and means "beedy eyed dinosore"

Unknown said...

SACADA, I bet that dinosaur played cards and sold insurance, huh?

Charlene Amsden said...

Doug, -- uhm, I had dropped by before I asked, but I suspect you knew that.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Abacus: What The Cheesemeister used to calculate math problems in childhood before they invented the adding machine.

The word verification is "dumki." This is what The Cheesemeister is when it comes to math!