Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, November 24, 2006
FOOTPRINTS, n. A pedestrians impressions of the country. A thief's assertion that he has gone over the ground is not open to conviction.
2006 Update: The evidence of the presence of the absent.
Someone's footprints are missing!!!
footprints: a trace of strength
Nothing says I was here better than a set of footprints... expect credit card receipts. How many aunts do I have to buy for?
Footprince: its like finger painting but you do it with your feet
The frothing surf hissed against the rocky shoreline. The white foam glimmered faintly as the new moon slipped in and out from hiding amongst the torn clouds. On the surface of the choppy water there could be heard the grunting and straining of beasts. Shall we join our heros?
"Who's stupid idea was this",grunted the bunny pulling a muffled oar.
"Shut up and row, you mangy cottontail" retorted the Boss.
"Fine! But I still say that it's not worth it."
"Do you have any idea how much a troglodyte sells for on E-bay?" explained the Boss.
"Look. You just want to avoid paying the tariff ." said the Bunny. "I heard that customs has a new team patrolling the shoreline here."
"Who cares! Now put us ashore."
The boat tossed and heaved over the shorebreak and was flung onto the beach. The Boss and the Bunny hopped out and headed inland leaving a trail of wet footprints behind. Their inattention to detail would prove costly, as the rookie and his partner the Dawg would take advantage of their forgetfulness to collar our heros.
So today's word is Stubborn : When sneaking out for the latest bauble, remember where you left the rowboat.
the evidence of the presence of the absent
funny, I thought that was TIRE TRACKS. See ONLINE SHOPPING. Especially on Black Friday. Oh what a relief it is ...
today in eastern Massachusetts, you don't leave footprints, you leave squish marks.
"Listen to this, you'll save water. You make it rain for forty days and forty nights, and wait for the sewers to back up."
"RIGHT". - Cosby
Footprints: impressive evidence.
Footprints: When found in your peanut butter, these are considered conclusive evidence of past travels by an elephant through your refrigerator.
You and your teenage buddies love pot.
Your parents’ friends vacation away from home for a month.
You break into their house one night and turn the lights on so you can see what you are stealing.
You panic when you hear the police sirens.
You run home.
You cry when the police track you down by your footprints in the snow.
It's like squeezing blood from a stone... those high heels that are the wrong size, but oh so fashionable.
Brian, I think you were standing on them.
Minka, that's a pretty definition. I never could do gentle irony.
Dewy, it's your uncles I'm worried about.
What are you favorite colors of footpaint, SACADA boy?
Brian, that's good advice. Sucks to be lost at sea without a boat, huh?
O Ceallaigh, I remember that routine. "Right. What's an ark?"
Punnybrose, you leave footprints everywhere.
Al, that's funny.
Goldennib, that's why two pieces of advice my father gave me stand out: Crime is a summertime activity and never mix controlled substances with breaking and entering.
Dewy, you should have a pedicure, I think or are the feet Brian's?
considering the tons of snow we're getting, footprints are everywhere!
oh, and there is the footprint of an absent 'e' somewhere in your definition buddy.
goldennib: I can't top that story.
But here's another one.
Recently, a friend and I were looking at an illustration of children in a snowy landscape. A person who seemed to be positioned by this painting in the gallery solely to tell this story said: Can you tell the mistake in the picture?
We looked. We could not. It seemed like a rude thing to ask in the first place.
The man smiled and said: There aren't any footprints in the snow behind the children.
To which my friend (not miising a beat) said: Is that because Jesus is carrying them?
Spooking the rude -- it can be really fun.
The size 6.5 mark on asses when I kick them! K-pow!
Footprints... a bohemian's hope of their relationship & presence with & in Spain...
The feet are Brian's. *sighs* But maybe I will take a cue from Jenna. ;)
Footprints: Often the first recorded identifier of the newborn; a tool for embarrassment for years thereafter (often accompanied by small bronzed shoes).
Footprints: the average person's temporary and transient mark upon the world. Also, a metaphor for the use of prophylactics:
Son, a one-night-stand should be like a hiking trip: take only pictures, leave only footprints, and don't forget the bug spray. -- R.A.T.
footprints: the left behind pieces of one's sole.
Puppy! And you say Hasselhoff is bad??
Footprints: Sole food.
I left footprints many places before I stumbled here today.
footprints aka comments in Blogland
Thanks, Kyah. And for not mentioning the drool.
Mutha, that's funny. Technically there is supposed to be one set of footprints where Jesus carries them, though.
Jenna, I bet the last guy to get the size 6.5 footprint on his backside asked if your shoes were size 7.
Miz B, the day is coming soon. Let me know if you need a ride from the airport.
Dewy, don't be dominated. You aren't that kind of gal.
Joel, police records are cute too.
Mushroom, prophylactics is how we keep it temporary and transient.
Puppybrose, it's the one part we know gets reincarnated.
Brian, my mama told me never step in okra and chitlin's and you know something? She was right.
Quill, then praise for those blessed before me. By the way, I hope you noticed my new profile.
Doug -- that is too funny. You know, even a few of my relatives would be happy to put out not related to Quilldancer signs.
Doug, don't be a buzz-kill. Isn't it spookier if Jesus has no footprints? I mean -- at least a 7 on the spook-a-meter.
Mutha -- Jesus isn't Spooky. That would be the Holy Spirit. And I don't believe it would leave footprints -- though possibly singe marks ....
Darn, somebody get OC a drink of water. He just fainted.
Doug, your update is perfect.
As for me, I will not tolerate them in the house. That's one reason that I am Queen of mĭs-ăn'thrə-pē. Men have big feet.
Mutha, I was always confused about the footprints. I didn't think Jesus would leave them. Not until later anyway.
or the presence of the evidence that someone was absent. Or something.
Say Goodnight Dick.
memories erased by the rising (or is it falling?) tide.
what can i say? i just wanted to prove i was here, there, and/or *somewhere* today...
Footprints: In the sand, not stiletto-friendly.
Footprints: what the dogs always leave on the floor when they are lucky enough to romp in the mud.
To answer the Footprints of Jesus question: consider the framed prose people have on their walls, that poem called "Footprints", where the man has a dream he's walking with the Lord on the beach and in looking back at times the man sees only one set of footprints. The man asks whether he'd been abandoned, and Jesus says that this is where He carried the man. So with that in mind, Jesus WOULD leave footprints in the snow whether he were carrying the children or not.
But did Jesus leave footprints when he walked on water? Snow is, afterall, frozen water. The KIDS would have left footprints, probably all over the place since kids run around in snow.
*waving to Tommy*
Quilly, they can borrow mine.
Mutha, one woman's spooky is another's inspiration. Now the handprints might be spooky.
Quill, make sure its isotonic.
Only the best of us, TLP.
Goldennib, are we talking water or sand?
Squaregirl, it depends on which boat you're in.
Puppybrose, you needn't worry about leaving a trail. Hey, I found a breadcrumb!
Sar, they need to make sandals for stilettos.
Cheesemeister, you're right. Evidence of a happy dog.
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