Saturday, November 18, 2006

Unto The Next World

Story #71, A tale of dysentery.

To hear the story, listen to your inner parasite.

To read the story, click Percy Bysshe Shelley, that rascal.

This week in The Prattler, "Remembering Milton Friedman" to be published around 11 AM TLP standard time. You are all excused from class.

Oh, and an announcement: Waking Ambrose will be on vacation December 1-14.


Anonymous said...

"Sorry, Charlie..."

(Once again, Doug has Given Good Word -- and earned a good weekend.)

Sar said...

I get it! Very clever, Doug.

I'm happy to see it's OC's turn this week, but I'm also more than a little concerned. I mean what happens when you roast an amoeba? Doesn't that defy some law of of physics or universal compatibility? I for one would miss our single-celled buddy if he were suddenly eviscerated.

(Morning You Can Call Me Al - I'm in your usual spot this morning I see.)

Anonymous said...

Sar baby -- I waited as long as I could...

Anonymous said...

Doug has indeed earned a good weekend with this clever tale! so, in the end, we're all living in the bubbly flotsam (or is that jetsam) of the universe, courtesy of a fish belch. why not? makes as much sense as most of the other theories floating around out there.

FANTASTIC story *and* excellent fodder for discussion! that said, i'm suddenly remembering an episode of South Park that featured a bunch of Sea Monkeys in an alternate universe created by Cartman. didn't end well for the Sea Monkeys. perhaps Ocymandias & Co. will fare better...

now, what's this about a vacation???

Charlene Amsden said...

14 days without WA? Doug, as soon as I pick myself up off the floor, I will question on your appraisal of OC's intellect.

::walks off mumbling:: 14 days without WA? What am I going to use to jump-start my brain every morning?

Minka said...

unsettled: every piece of land in Icleand outside of Reykjavik and Akureyri. Except those where the fairies live, duh! Oh and the trolls, in the mountains...I guess we are pretty settled after all!

I bet OC will like this story very much, it is all so evolutionary progressive and humanly recessive. *claps*

Just got back and better find a way to de-freeze my flippers. -14 degrees, I mean that is pushing it even in Iceland!

Doug The Una said...

Thanks, Al. I'll take it. You have a good weekend, too.

Sar, glad you got it. A roasted amoeba is the cocktail weenie of the swamp.

Puppybrose, thanks for saying "belch." The first draft went ahead and named "excrement." I'm so bad.

Crossword puzzles, Quill. Crossword puzzles.

Minka, I knew about the elves but not the trolls. I thought we were all in Southern California. Sounds brisk!

Minka said...

What is 11 Am TLP standard time around my area? Just curious!

OH and 1-14th? Are you one of Santa´s little helpers? I´d like a train that can go around the Christmas tree, just in case you have some influence ;) (Preferably red, but blue is ok too)

Doug The Una said...

Minka, you know perfectly well it's half an hour ago and that "Remembering Milton Friedman" is something everyone can wait for. I seem to have gotten hung up with the publishing but the piece is written, for what's that worth.

The amoeba said...

"Hey dude! C'mere, quick! Y'gotta see this!!"

"See what, dude? You know I don't see nothin' before noon on Saturday, and even then not without coffee. You ain't even plugged in the machine yet."

"But it's O Ceallaigh! And he's on the dawg's site!! How come you didn't know? I thought you were the one he talked to!"

"Yeah. He does. And he knows enough to let me sleep in on the weekend. Unlike some dudes of my acquaintance. And maybe he didn't know either. Ever think of that? Oh, I'm sorry. I forget. You're allergic to the word think."

"I hope you ain't allergic to middle fingers. I think, Your Somnolent Highness, that this tale is just too cool. Doug even gave OC a split personality!"

"Yeah, it figures you'd relate to that. It's almost as if it were like someone you knew. Gotta admit, though, the global warming analogy's kinda neat. 'Amoeba highways'. Ha. It's almost as if he knew about Labyrinthulomycota."

"Labyrintho-whowhuckamucka?? Will you put that bong down!?! Sheesh. Where the hell'd you come up with that one?"

"Just call it payback, dude."

PS. Dear Doug,



TLP said...

Al, wait longer. It's called delayed gratification, and has great benefits. (For some.)

Good job Dougie.

Unsettled: Describing the weather these days.

You need 14 whole days???? Outrageous. We'll give you maybe ... 5. Enough's enough.

Jamie Dawn said...

You're taking a vacation from blogging???!!!
I would never dream of doing such a thing!

Unsettled - a word I know all too well. :)

Settled - a word I will be familiar with again soon.

(Great news! My brother will be performing along with The Bonner Singers at the White House on Dec. 20th!!
Hooray!!! He is the pianist for the group and will be tickling the White House ivory with great delight. I'm hoping C-Span will carry it, so I can record it.)

Doug The Una said...

O Ceallaigh, I'm glad you liked it. I thought for a spell about trying to work in Dude and Dude. Glad you got them into the comments.

Thanks, TLP. 12?

Jamie Dawn, we don't all have your fortitude. Congratulations to your brother and on the soon-to-be House of Dawn.

Anonymous said...

split personality, O'C? or pseudopersonality... one that comes and goes as you see fit (or foot, depending on which pseudopod you're moving forward with at any given moment). yeah, i know... that was an amoebic reach. i give up, that's about all i can remember from my college zoology class (just before i switched majors)

excrement, Doug? mon dieu! it never occurred to me to equate that word with something you wrote. at least you weren't thinking "dysentary". that might have been... awkward. not to mention messy.

Charlene Amsden said...

Two OC's? My first thought was, "Lovely, now I'll be twice as confused." My second thought was at least the poor man would have someone of equal intelligence and education to talk to. Then I read his conversation with himself and well --

Hoist in pertard, indeed.

Anonymous said...

You made me google. Percy Bysshe Shelley and William Penn had something in common: they were both expelled from Oxford over religous issues. Of course you needed to know this. A poet married to the author of Frankenstein--interesting.

Great story! OC's comment was priceless,too.

unsettled? That was last night. Today, we're settled.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I hope you've settled on a splendid plan for your vacation. You certainly have it coming.

Tom & Icy said...

My poop has a lot of unsettled questions, too.

Doug The Una said...

Puppybrose, I was kind of a classy guy before I started keeping my current company.

Haha, Quill. It's true that a PhD and a crown is about all that can ruin our friend.

Thank you, Actonbell. I knew you'd be the one to understand.

Icy, do tell.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what any of you are talking about. All I know is I'm a scaredy cat so I will bow down and survive.

And I suggest hover crafts to solve the buildup of asphault; won't need roads.

Kyahgirl said...

'a tale of dysentery' heh!
Good one Doug. Glad to see our paramoeboid friend honoured in this way.

Vacation?... its about time! I'm guessing that if there were a savvy sociology major hanging around WA they could do a paper on the repercussions of your vacation :-)

Anonymous said...

Guess the fate of the world could be decided in worse far less qualified. I meant that as a compliment. Good one.

Doug The Una said...

Goldennib, it's like this: The world is rising and it's due to the actions of amoebas. An inconvenient truth, sure.

Thanks, Kyah. You're man's best friend.

Sure, G. OC can be President or King of Kings or something.

Anonymous said...

Ha. THis is hysterical...we get Doug's story on OC AND dude and dude. too much fun, guys. good job(s)!

Anonymous said...


perfect and the picture so oc.

I would leave my fate is oc's hands anyday; it's that ninary fission that causes me some disquiet.

va - what?

What will I do?

Doug The Una said...

Cindra, It was good of Dude and Dude to show up, wasn't it?

Sure, Cooper. We all have faith in OC. He can be your science advisor.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

That parasite story was right up my alley since I'm currently studying the digestive system.