Friday, August 17, 2007

Finance

FINANCE, n.  The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager.  The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable os one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

2007 Update:  The debt of an expert.  The coins that cover lees in the bottom of a styrofoam cup.

28 comments:

TLP said...

First?????

al said...

First with a definition??

Finance: A euphemism self-professed smart people use to refer to their otherwise foolish borrowing and spending. When bragging about it, they often prefix the adjective "High."

Al said...

Nice, TLP. I could have been first today, if I could type under pressure...

TLP said...

Some finance their hopes and dreams by gaining a fiancé with high finance potential.

I think they miss the mark because they don't notice the different pronunciation of the "i," and different accent point.

Financially it could work out though.

TLP said...

It's that dumb word verifier thingie Al. Makes it difficult.

You are truly first where it counts.

pia said...

I saw 0 comments and freaked. Yesterday the post wasn't even up when I came. Falling down, Doug.

Finance: something most people never cared about when they invested in stocks in the 90's or bought a house in this century

In blogging finance is all about links. I once was a good financier.
Al, welcome back

I Dive At Night said...

Finance: A polite euphemism for "taking your money" used to form other meaningless but popular phrases such as Financial Adviser.

Mo'a said...

Finance...a shaky subject these days...or should I say a roller coaster ride.

goldennib said...

Finance(Re): For some, it's not good enough the first time.

Minka said...

Why did the accountant cross the road?

To count the chickens, of course! Duh!

puppybrose said...

Finance: the art of not just counting, but selling those chickens before they hatch, as a means for buying more.

thanks for the inspiration, Minka... check's in teh mail! ; )

Minka said...

thank you puppy, it was either that or:

so he can charge his client travel expenses :)

tsduff said...

Finance: The scariest word in the dictionary

the amoeba said...

FINANCE, n.

1. In England, nautical insects. You have heard of "army ants"? Well ...

2. In America, evidence that the Beanstalk Giant is not named Willie, is married (for what he's being scolded is not stated), and is an accountant to whom funds are due ("Fee ..."). Where is that Sar when we need her ...?

3. One of the reasons why field stations in Paradise don't have reliable Internet connections.

Jamie Dawn said...

"The debt of an expert." That definition cannot be topped.

I'm wondering what the debt of a novice is called?
Oh, I know....
debt.

Money (or more technically, the LOVE of money) is the root of all evil, but money sure grows into some really nice stuff. Maybe that's why we love it so much.

karma said...

Douglas, i'll put my money where your mouth os ... er ... is. damn those typos!

puppybrose said...

"I want my finances in the same condition as my men, plentiful, robust, and/or flexible." ~ Mae West did NOT say that... but wouldn't it be great if she had? ; )

(sorry, i tend to get silly when thinking about money... except when our own finances cause me to throw up.)

Mutha said...

My first understanding of the word "finance" was Bugs Bunny saying, "I am Elmer J. Fudd, Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yaght."

It prompted me to ask around about this money thing...

Doug said...

Way to get in on the ground floor, TLP.

Al, "high" is about right, too. Good to hear from you, pal.

TLP, was it Jane Austen who said there are too few men with great fortunes to deserve them?

Pia, its too hot here to sleep at night so I've been making up for it by sleeping twice in the morning.

"Finance Minister" is another interesting one, isn't it, Morgan?

Mo'a, I think a shaky roller-coaster would about cover it.

Nessa, termites squeeze value out of wood slower than American humans.

Minka, I might have gotten that one.

Neva, in the end, it's all about eggs.

Now, that one was good, Minka. Well done. Why did the financial advisor cross the road? That's just how they steer.

Terry, there are a few I'd add before that, but, yeah.

You're right, Amoeba. Sar would appreciate #2.

You got it, JD. Debt is debt when it's small.

Karma, with cheese?

Puppy, there has to be a "well-hanged" joke in there, too, but I ain't making it.

Mutha, if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

ariel said...

more holes on my finance than on my socks. would be easier if money had a smell!

G said...

Sci-finance: 401K: all rather futuristic (I hope anyway).

Doug said...

Ariel, that's hysterical. Thank you.

g, if you coined "sci-finance" you ought to have a chapter in the dictionary named after you.

quilly said...

finance n.

A quick check of all my available resources reveals that I am unable to ante up for this round. Sorry.

The Old Mule said...

finance: Yuan

G said...

Doug, I've never heard the term before I typed it out here in these pages. Have you?

I'm emailing Merriam Webster right now!

Doug said...

Quilly, I should have known a glass of tap water was too much to ask.

Truer and truer, Mule.

Nope, G. It was a revelation to me. My Webster's is already updated.

cooper said...

Are you sure Jane didn't say "there are far too few men who give their fortunes to the women who deserve them?

If not she should have.

Your definition can't be topped.

My brother works in international finance which is another word for manipulation.

Doug said...

Cooper. it's practically the same word.