Monday, August 06, 2007

Land

LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure. Carried to its logical conclusion, it means that some have the right to prevent others from living; for the right to own implies the right exclusively to occupy; and in fact laws of trespass are enacted wherever property in land is recognized. It follows that if the whole area of terra firma is owned by A, B and C, there will be no place for D, E, F and G to be born, or, born as trespassers, to exist.

A life on the ocean wave,
A home on the rolling deep,
For the spark the nature gave
I have there the right to keep.

They give me the cat-o'-nine
Whenever I go ashore.
Then ho! for the flashing brine —
I'm a natural commodore!

—Dodle

2007 Update:  v.i.  To transfer from an ocean-faring or sky-cruising conveyance filled with pestilence to a terrestrial station full of hope.

31 comments:

ariel said...

land, v, often mistaked for "arrive"

ariel said...

*mistaken (sometimes the braincells have the grammar join the converstaion to late)

Logophile said...

land~ A means of extending one's discontentment, or localizing it.

Mutha said...

land: what is "made for you and me." ...pinko...

G said...

Land ho!

the amoeba said...

Says G as she's weeding her garden ...

But I gotta tell ya, for those of us who work two full-time jobs and can barely buy groceries, never mind a half-acre, Bierce's definition ceased to be a joke, a long time ago. Especially if you've priced boats lately.

LAND, n. Solid matter, providentially placed on a liquid planet to provide a refuge from drowning - and sustenance for the capitalist, the landlord, the creditor, the repossessor, and the hangman.

karma said...

if i say something clever it will land me in a whole lot of trouble

I Dive At Night said...

Land: And excellent stepping-off point from which to enter the water, e.g. for the purposes of scuba diving. Boats also work well.

al said...

Land: Pursuant to a grander plan, it keeps shifting and subducting, always changing, notwithstanding our petty delusions of its ownership.

TLP said...

Wow! I had no idea that Ambrose was a commie.

TLP said...

Land: at its End you can get nice clothes.

quilly said...

land something I encounter every fall.

the amoeba said...

Quilly, does that mean everyone who steps off a boat takes a trip? After all, they do call it LANDFALL ...

[ducks]

goldennib said...

Land: This is mine; get thee to the moon.

Minka said...

land, v. sometimes you have to hit the ground, before your feet can learn to walk the extra mile

Minka said...

to land,v. the rest stop between greener pastures

G said...

Haha OC - that's about right!

Doug said...

Ariel, Good point. The part of the brain that holds grammar usually just stands by the wall when it gets there anyway.

Logo, that's why maps are for malcontents.

Ha, Mutha. Read Marx, indeed!

G, is there something you need to tell us?

Good definition, O Ceallaigh. Also, the dais for public protest when not at sea.

Not for the first time, Karma.

Morgan, today was kind of a set-up for you, wasn't it?

Al, you live on the fill, don't you?

TLP, Ambrose hated populists as well as big landowners. He liked Chinese, Jews and Mormons because he wasn't any of the three, I think. Everyone else drew contempt.

Quilly, I think you landed on pure wit that time.

Amoeba, I'm only replying to say no jury in the world will vote to convict Quilly.

Nessa, I like how you think.

Minka, I think you just defined LIFE.

G, ok, but you won't be on the jury.

AP3 said...

So glad you and Monika landed in Boston!

puppybrose said...

Land is for Lubbers.

puppybrose said...

...maybe even "lubbers" with blubber. But NOT blubberers, because they're just noisy. not to mention messy. our Land is in bad enough shape without adding a bunch of blubbery blubberers into the mix.

kind of makes you sedimental for the days before i landed on this blog, eh, Doug?? (don't answer that) ; )

Omnipotent Poobah said...

land - An act, which if performed properly, you can walk away from.

G said...

Uh, I watched Muppets Treasure Island over the weekend?

Tom & Icy said...

Oh, Willie! You mean if we don't get out of our yard then we have no hope?

puppybrose said...

Land: the soil we plant our feet on and/or others in.

The Old Mule said...

land: the currency of rent seekers and roustabouts.

Doug said...

Me too, Twin.

Neva, I'm not even tempted to.

Poobah, it's almost the real definition, huh?

G, those are the things in one's past that make her wiser.

Icy, I mean the poop is always exotic across the fence.

Now, Neva. I thought you quit killing. One day at a time, lady. One day at a time.

Mule, the young econ student I once was wants to correct your usage of "rent seeker" but economics is no-one's currency.

Minka said...

yep. At 5.45 Frostbite time! Penguin returned home.

TLP said...

Get a little drunk and you land in jail. Say! Where are you?????? It's mornin' ya know.

Jason said...

Land, ha.

After having an engine on one of my return flights fail, and having the pilot say afterwards that we "could've made it" to Indy without turning back...

Doug said...

For a flightless bird, you sure get around, Minka. Happy landing.

Sorry, TLP. I had a barge to tote.

Jason, welcome. You should ask yourself, though, is it better to have an engine fail or to reach Indianapolis?