Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Lioness and the Coyote

Once upon a time, a lioness had a coyote cornered and the coyote pled his case.
"Behold!" said the coyote, "do we not both hunt for our prey?  do we not both live in open country?  Of course we do!  We are both sometimes social and often solitary.  I have to say, there's a little bit of lion in me and there must be some coyote in you."
"Indeed," said the lioness.  "Quite a bit, actually," as she began with his liver.
Moral:  Politics makes for fine dining.
REALPOLITIK, n.  A throat with no tongue behind teeth without lips.

Happy birthday, Mama!  See you this afternoon.

51 comments:

Mutha said...

First? And vegetarian.

Mutha said...

Happy Birthday Mamma -- from one Mutha to another.

puppybrose said...

and did the lioness enjoy fava beans with that coyote's liver -- then wash it all down with a nice Chianti? or did she stick with beer? ; )

¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Mamá de Curmudgeon!

Minka said...

A wonderful and special day to Doug's Mama.

Politics does makes for fine dining! It´s the speeches you give that tear you apart and there´s bound to be a vulture preying... ready to feed on your empty shell!

Cheers!

Sar said...

Self-absorbed, manipulative preditors? And you insinuate a political tie in? Noooo....

Happy Birthday Doug's Mama!

karma said...

101 kisses to you, dearest mama mia, may you have a life full of joy and live life to the fullest, wishing you a day as wonderful as is possible, the finest of wines and the most delectable of chocolates ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!

... and you dawg, hope you never disappoint and try to live up to expectations of your mother. you did mean 'hunt for prey and not 'pray' didn't you?

aiiybufq: road runner running away from willie coyote

Logophile said...

Hunting for pray threw me all off too.
Reminded me of a piece of art I saw yesterday by a high school student of a falcon and the beautifully framed, printed student's description of the technique and the subjected ended,
"Falcons will not haste to descend on there pray when hunger strikes."
I started twitching and my family had to lead me away.
Ok, I've completely forgotten my original comment...
oh, but, Doug, you are a genius and I know you know that, you are mostly excused (the spelling/typing error is excused entirely, I can only hold the proofreading against you but it was early :p)

Mutha said...

The fava bean question was on my mind too Puppy.

Doug said...

Mutha, is any mother a vegetarian, really?

Neva, Hannibal is no name for a lioness. Gracias.

Absolutely right, Minka. War is hell, but oratory makes it appealing. Thanks for the wish (on Mom's behalf.)

Sar, of course I do. Thanks.

Karma, thank you. I forgot the raisinets and thank you for the edit. You always catch me when I do wrong.

Thank you, Logo, for the indulgence. I find the more and more I write online the more prone I am to substituting homophones. It's actually sort of embarrassing.

OK, ok, that Hannibalette, Mutha :)

ariel said...

if you go far enough in any story, the worms have the final dining. :-P

Very Happy Birthday, Doug's Mom!

The Old Mule said...

Dear Doug's Mom,

Happy Birthday!

-Mule


realpolitik: neo-kantian keynesism in a hobbesian state of nature.

puppybrose said...

maroon that i am, i thought you actually did mean "pray", which was pretty damn funny, by my way of thinking. "hunting"? as in searching for a higher truth? pray? as in, um "praying" to a higher something and/or someone?

oy, clearly your lioness is more practical than i am. better fed, too, i'm guessing.

PS: i was kind of thinkin' "Hanna", as opposed to "Hannibal", but what do i know? heh. and, thanks Mutha! i'm glad i'm not the only one around here to think of that "fava bean/Chianti" connection! pfft pfft pfft... ; )

tsduff said...

That fable leaves me a bit disappointed in coyote, whom I thought would out-wheedle the lion. Must have been coyote's off day.

Happy birthday Doug's Mama - you are one splendid Mom of a fine a talented son.

G said...

Happy Birthday Doug's mama! You raised up a nice boy. Ooh, it's my brother, P's birthday - must go call!

realpolitik - "A throat with no tongue behind teeth without lips" riding on a horse with no name.

Jenna Howard said...

Happy birthday to Doug's Mom!

I'm not even going to define I word I have to check 5 times for spelling.

Doug's Mama said...

It will be an even better day for me now because of your lovely birthday wishes. Thank you all very much.

q said...

Happy Birthday to Doug's mama -- and may it be filled with fun and not realpolitiking -- or fakepolitiking for that matter!

Mutha said...

Doug is that a suggestion that we might be prone to eat our young? You better be nice to your Mamma today...

actonbell said...

A happy birthday to your mother!
Great fable. One good thing about politics:)

ariel said...

Puppy, I totally agree with you. that was a funny sentence before Doug corrected. more than funny, actually, was leading to brand new fields. oh well.

the amoeba said...

Birthday greetings to Dame Pascover. But doesn't she get a little uncomfortable having a dog for a son ...?

REALPOLITIK, n. Invading Iraq for the oil instead of
"in the name of freedom and democracy".

PREDATOR, n. One who goes before. An aboriginal with natural wisdom, who practices Realpolitik on his neighbor when hungry.

Off to a desert island (Vancouver's, where there is no internet). See you next week ...

Doug said...

Ariel, you're forgetting the early birds.

THanks, Mule. That was a grand discourse. Kafkaesque.

Neva, I admit I'd have felt cleverer if I had.

Terry, Moral II: Wit is useful but fangs are final.

Only in America, g. Only in America.

That's okay, LBP. It's not a very sexy word.

Hey, Mama. Glad you checked in.

Thanks, q and welcome.

Mutha, I checked my mouth into a 30-day rehab.

True, Actonbell and thank you.

Ariel, feel free to use it on your upcoming blog.

Doug said...

Quilly, you tricked me. But you're still welcome.

Doug said...

Have a good trip, Amoeba.

Mo'a said...

Happy Birthday to one Leo/Lioness (Doug's Mama) from another Leo/Lioness.
You have raised a son with impecable taste and a wast vocabulary...well done :)

cooper said...

I did post her earlier because I was doing work at home today. I was boasting about being tenth. ;(

REALPOLITIK: Too many dinners with cannibals.

TLP said...

Happy birthday to yo Mama!

Like Puppy first, and then several others, I thought first of fava beans with that coyote's liver --

Niks, Acton, 3D, and I had lunch together and spoke of fava beans with liver...but dined on Italian fare instead.

Realpolitik: Far, far too scary to talk about at lunch.

AP3 said...

Happy Birthday, Doug's Mama!

Diesel said...

I bet the coyote is wishing he could eat his words.

Minka said...

You checked your mouth into 30-day rehab? *laughs* Hey, maybe it could meet up with Britney´s hair and the two of them could, like, so totally, create a tongue tied innuendo!

it´s late!

The OE said...

Realpolitik: An unsynthesized plastic like compound that gives me the shakes

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy B-day to Doug's mommy!!!!!!
Your son is a good egg.

I'm not full of lioness or coyote. I am full of piss and vinegar.

javajazz said...

well, what a surprise!
Happy Birthday, Mama of Dog...
your son is so cool
one can only imagine
he must have inherited
some of that coolness from you...
and in yet another splash of serendipity
my son was born on august 8
20 short years ago....
hope you had a fine celebration!
xo lisa

javajazz said...

maybe synchronicity was the word
i was looking for...
i actually ended up having to look up
the definition of serendipity,
a word i often mix up with synchronicity...
(is this getting boring yet?)
i get nervous being around all you Wordies...
imagine making some dreaded blunderous
verbal faux pas...
and menopause brain isnt helping
a darn thing...nevermind.

Minka said...

"A throat with no tongue behind teeth without lips" surrounded by a head without original thought, cut off from a stomach that can digest!

(This was the last thing I thought before falling asleep and it made perfect sense to me at the time!- and people wonder why I am suffering from nightmares*shakes own, silly head*)

goldennib said...

All predators are someone's prey.

ariel said...

Goldennib, that's so true. that was what Jules Winnfield tried to explain to Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction, but he didn't understand and soon became the prey of an unsuspicious box fighter.

ariel said...

Doug, I hope the birthday dinner was great. did you bring us cake?

Doug said...

Thanks, Mo'a. You must mean my brother. My shirt's on inside out just this second.

Pride goeth before a fall, Cooper. You can't have too many dinners with cannibals unless they're freezer burnt.

TLP, did you at least get some chianti?

Thanks, Sis!

Even grass, Diesel.

Totally, Minka

OE, what is a spy without altruism?

Jamie Dawn, that would make a great almond flavoring. You home?

JJ, I substituted Pray for Prey when I put this up originally if that helps. By the way, there were no stumps at the birthday dinner.

Haha, Minka. I hope you woke up in an orange grove.

And all prey is someone's prayer, Nessa. It's the way of the world.

Ariel, there was no cake, actually, but Saganaki.

javajazz said...

no, it doesnt help (your Prey substitution)
but thanks for your kindness...
no stumps at the birthday din din?
Ha! thats because i had them all
removed! its the great leveller....

Jamie Dawn said...

I will pass along your suggestion for the newest almond flavor, Piss & Vinegar. I will tell my mom that you are willing to test this new flavor until they get it just right. :-)

Yep - I am home, safe and sound.
Dad and brother left yesterday afternoon to fly back to CA.

Doug said...

JJ, all the stumps in Portland? That's a lotta stumps. You take equality seriously, don't you?

Thanks, Jamie Dawn. I knew one day I'd be famous for something.

javajazz said...

i'm on a mission...
who ever thought it would happen
this way...
life continues to surprise me
daily.
yes, i'm a big fan of equality,
even when i'm feeling superior.
ps where the hell's Portland?

Doug said...

Ha! Not especially when you're feeling superior? The funny thing about that question is the answer. It's either in the Northeast corner of the U.S. or the Northwest. In my case, Northwest. Either way, its wet and piney.

javajazz said...

hmm, wet and piney, huh?
actually, i'm not even gonna go there...
(not to Portland, to wet and piney...)

i know of Portland Maine, because Monkey
of Monkeys Deep Thoughts (clever blog
lady) lives in that Portland (is this getting
boring?) (is my asking if this is getting
boring, getting boring?)
...but i thought you lived in Santa Clarita,
which i thought was near where Poopy lives
and Terry...which didnt seem like northwest,
or maybe birthday dinner was up north.....
(huff puff)

javajazz said...

though i imagine wet and piney
smells rather exquisite.

javajazz said...

gosh, this word verificaton is
really getting to me...(thats why i'm
overusing it right now...)
its almost as bad as texting my
daughter Sarah on my cell phone
and squinting trying to see the
letters...quite a feat, even for
a musician...its like learning
a new instrument or language
or all of the above..

sorry, i'm so logorrhea tonight...
thats so un Doug-like, aint it.
and ya, i know that's not an adjective...
(logorrhea)

Doug said...

JJ, I live in Santa Clarita, near Los Angeles. Poopy, I think, lives in Chicago near Indiana where I spent the fourth of July. My mom lives in Portland, Oregon where I am helping her celebrate her birthday. Wet and piney is grand wherever it's natural and even better in the desert, I suppose. I agree, learning to text on a cell phone is a little like learning brain surgery. I'm not bored, please continue.

javajazz said...

okay...i thought you still lived in Santa Clausita (sorry, i didnt get enough sleep last night) but arent you the globetrotter these days, what with special gatherings in new york, doing lunch with pheetosessions, and enjoying your Indianaian 4th of July jaunt, and visiting Mama in Oregon (i'll have to look that one up, as i get some of the states horribly mixed up...) and you said you are often in Sacramento if Poopy and the Bruband ever play there, and there are rumours (canadian rumors) of a gathering in Chicago, so it certainly sounds as if you travel around a fair bit...you realize this officially disqualifies you as an early onset curmudgeon, in ways too complex to explain, before (or even after) coffee...you're way too sociable to be a grump...

Poopy (my Poopy?) just rented his very first apartment in Stockton, California, across the street from the U of Pacific...i love the name of his new street address which of course i cant mention here, but it may have something to do with a jazz Elder who resides nearby...(actually, i dont think he resides nearby, i forget...) alrighty, then, it must be time to boost the old brain cells with a bit of caffeine, my only vice...

can you get wet and piney in the desert? (i didnt think there were trees there, but i might just be not that bright...)

Doug said...

JJ, you'll have to trust me on the grump. Yes Sacramento is near Stockton and I expect to be there later this month. (I forgot he was there on account of the Chicago gig.) See you in Chicago in March?

javajazz said...
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