Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Ugliest Drowned Man in The World

Episode 34 of 40 in The Meditations of Diogenes The Cynic. Thanks to Heirs Without Hairs for this week's reading.

To hear the story, listen good.

This week, in The Prattler,
"The Lonesome Life of Jose Padilla. "

To read the story, throw away your bowl.
Ah, and I should probably announce that there remains one (1) episode left unassigned. If you've been on the fence about reading, speak now or hold your peace until we maybe do something like this again next year.


goldennib said...

You should have saved the first picture for Rabbit Day.

Oh, and is tradition...

I'm first, I'm first!

goldennib said...

Again with hitting the wrong keys. Off to listen to the story now.

TLP said...

"Nocturnal philosophy is the roughest kind...."

Oh yeah? It's a bright day here, and philosophy is still rough.

Died mating? That Diogenes.

TLP said...

Your Dad talking?

goldennib said...

Cow, v: I am in awe of your stories.

Loved the voice. I imagined myself around an ancient campfire.

puppybrose said...

did i mention last time how much i adored your dad's reading?? if not, allow me to profess my admiration now.

wow. another GREAT edition and a fabulous "performance" by the one responsible for your own fine voice! ; )

Cow: unmooved by emotion/remooved for a meal.

Doug said...

Nessa, you are rightly first. Thanks for hitting the right buttons.

Yep, TLP. That's the block I'm a chip offa.

Nessa, funny you mention ancient.

Thanks, Neva. But I get my voice from my momma.

tsduff said...

I would surmise that your father (who DOES have an heir) is just an older version of the same spritely curmudeon as is his son... he certainly reads well, and yes, a great story teller!

COW: noun, adjective A farm animal with thick skin and hoofed feet; a word hurled as in insult to a fat female person "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

G said...

Loved it all around. Yes you seem to be a chip off the ole block. I do enjoy your Dad's readings.

Ooh maybe I should head to the Oracle for vacation instead and hang out in the shade (which I plan to do anyway at the Beach).

Another fine installment. Who hasn't read yet? I hope they come forward for the open chapter.

Minka said...

ok, I have to get childishness out of the way first:

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
~Ogden Nash

Minka said...

"Must have died mating!" surmised the philosopher.

One of the sentences I will take from this season!

Your dad's voice is soemthing I would not have minded reading to me when little. What does he do after work?

Minka said...

cow: natural blender, making vegetation digestable

(and that's enough out of me!)

javajazz said...

what a charming, sweet voice!
i couldnt pay attention to the story,
in my typical ADHD fashion,
because i just couldn't stop focusing
on how much that voice sounded
exactly like your voice,
only a bit older and,
dare i say,
and if you get your voice from your mama,
then she much sound
exactly like
the old block...
your dad sounds like
a delightful man.
i hear so much in his voice.

javajazz said...

ps. i love that sculpture in the photo...

the amoeba said...

COW, n. ... And to Boston, a street planner. You think I'm kidding?!?

Nice work, Pascovers.

ariel said...

Diogenes steals apples and knows a lot about mating. if that thorn is not removed from his thigh soon, he'll get dressed...

as OC said, nice work, Pascovers!

Jamie Dawn said...

Father of Doug: You did a fine job. Nice vocal inflections and variation from character to character.
Have you considered overdubbing cartoons?
You sound like you might be as nice and your son.
I guess kindness is genetic. :-)

Cow: Something I NEVER want to resemble!!

Happy weekend to all!!

Doug said...

Terry, all I said was "do you hear lowing?"

G, you should. Maybe you can get Tali a job.

Enough milk, Minka? Ogden Nash is a wonderful wit and a fine poet, but if he's milking I'll have water.
"No teats to pull, no tails to switch just punch two wholes in the sonofabitch."-Carnation Evaporated Milk.

JJ, it's funny you mention his wisdom. I had lunch with this week's reader today and I can quote him from this morning, addressing his first-born son thusly: "If you think there's any distance between a dithering old fool and a sage, you're dumber than I thought."

No, Amoeba, I don't think you're kidding. Atlanta was planned the same way.

Ariel, I don't fear his dressing. Thank you.

Happy weekend, J.D.

javajazz said...

well, he does make a valid point,
i must say...(yes, he could have left
out that last part, but those endearing
daddy-isms are what keep
chips off the old block
on their toes...
i've always felt there is a fine line
between brilliance
and insanity...

TLP said...

You gonna tip that cow? (cash or carry)

Cows are inherently funny, don'tchathink?

Jamie Dawn said...


Years ago, I had a cow kitchen. I had cow dish towels and wooden cows and resin cows. It was hitonious. I don't know what I was thinking!! It all started when someone bought me a cow trinket and I didn't know where to put the thing. I made the mistake of putting it in the kitchen. Next thing you know, it's like I was breeding cows or something.

ariel said...

oh, and good title there...

AP3 said...

Great story and reading! Wow, you and your dad really do sound alike.

puppybrose said...

i think your dad deserves an award for that line you shared with JJ! i came thisclose to asking again if the fruit of his loins had fallen far from the tree, after your poem on Wednesday, i'm starting to think the answer is "yes"... ; )

Cow: one slow to respond to cudundrums.

i know i know... *groan*

actonbell said...

clapclapclap! That's a great father-son act:)

Cow- established in 1611, Plymouth, MA.

puppybrose said...

Cow: product of bovine coupling and/or human angst [see also: "What do you mean you're pregnant???" and/or "Don't have a cow, man!"]

(another stretch)

Sar said...

Cow: That which the late Phil Rizzuto regularly proclaimed to be religiously blessed.

Doug said...

JJ, you say there's a fine line between wisdom and insanity, Dad says none, there's a fine line between you and my dad.

TLP, I always tip cows 20%.

Jamie Dawn, the gestation period of a cow is 238 days. I've noticed with cow trinkets it's much shorter than that.

Thanks, Ariel. Did you recognize it?

AP3, my brother, Andy, and I used to really enjoy imitating his voice. Now we pretend not to.

Neva, hr's a good source of good lines that end with "or you're stupider than I thought."

Actonbell, I can't find that reference other than cows arriving for the first time in Jamestown that year. I had an interior bet with myself that you'd recognize the title for this episode, by the way.

Sar, the late Harry Carey gets the credit from midwesterners.

ariel said...

Doug, yes, I did. :-)

but can I make pesto with a dithering old fool if I haven't got sage at home?

Sar said...

Doug - perhaps Scooter borrowed the phrase, but then I suppose the same could be said of the ChiSox and their pinstripes, no? Just sayin.

javajazz said...

well, that's good, Dog,
as long as there's a line,
and we never get to find out
who the dithering old fool is...

people think
my father is charming and wise
and my mom is just full of personality...
i think its because
they arent related to my parents....

TLP said...

Ignore me. I'm early for Monday. But, please note: I am FIRST tomorrow. Now I can sleep in.

Cheesemeister said...

Aww, the poor minotaur. Sorry about Diogenes' leg, though. I'm always walking into things and getting bruises on my legs.
I now have an official blog for my book. I'm hoping it might attract some readers. I fear it will attract trolls as well. But what can I do? The minotaur is dead, so I can't very well hire him to guard me and keep me safe from trolls.
On a cheerier note, the Word verification is "oatywd"

Cheesemeister said...

I assure you that you wouldn't want me to read. My spectral co-author accuses me of making him feel like he's trapped in a Western movie because of my accent. I don't think this would work very well with the Greek mythology theme!

Doug said...

Ariel, I thought you might. Maybe one of the pictures should have been a leaf storm. And that's funny, but I think you're confusing sage with basil, Magyar.

Had to bring that up, didn't you, Sar?

That's funny, JJ. Then where did you get it from?

Cheesie, that sounds like volunteering to me. I need your email. In the underworld, I'm sure you have uses for trolls.

javajazz said...

oh goody, a trick question...
not sure what "it" is
(i'm terminally in denial
about pretty much everything)
but let's just say
i osmos'd it
from environmental conditioning.

ariel said...

Doug, if you've never used sage in your kitchen before, you should give it a try. worth it!

Doug said...

JJ, it's in the coffee.

Ariel, Artemisia tridentada covers the hills around my house and in my memories. But it isn't in pesto. Usually I eat sage with neighbors.

javajazz said...

okay Douglas, you win that round.

coffee is my life.

ps, i love the scent of sage.
i burn it, mostly,
and only eat it
once a year with my gobble gobble....
and no, i do not burn it
inside my turkey...