CREST, n. An heraldic device displayed by the American descendants of Sir Crassus Vulgarius, Bearonet, one of the famous retainers of William the Corncurer.
Son of ten fathers! would you sport a crestTo honor one, ignoring all the rest.The one who in his life you did disgraceBy taking on his name without his face?His crest? The only one he knew, poor fool,Adorned the dunce-cap that he wore at school.Go paint a dandelion and a ragUpon your panels, and then gravely bragAbout their origin- how every panelProves that the founder of your line was Dan'l,Who, cast among the lions' growling pack,Contemptuously turned on them his back;But one presuming brute, tradition teaches,Tore with his tooth the seat of Dan'l's breeches.'Twas thus the dent de lion and the ragBecame the arms of that illustrious wag.And ever since each male of Dan'l's line,Yourself included, as a pious signAnd token of his Scriptural descent,Has worn a rag protruding from a rent.
2010 Update: An illustrated topknot by which American freemen may lay claim to European authority.