Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

This is a dog,
This is a cat.
This is a frog,
This is a rat.
Run, dog, mew, cat.
Jump, frog, gnaw, rat.

2006 Update: Rejection in a rabbit skin.

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Chatham said...

EXCUSE meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!?!?

Cat: that deity that is as likely to scratch you as purr.



Dogtist filth! Doug and Ambrose, you are VILE!

karma said...

i would say something but the cat got my tongue

shayna said...

"They said get back honky cat
Better get back to the woods
Well I quit those days and my redneck ways
And oh the change is gonna do me good

You better get back honky cat
Living in the city ain't where it's at
It's like trying to find gold in a silver mine
It's like trying to drink whisky from a bottle of wine"

Tom & Icy said...

Cats are okay as long as they stay out of my territory.

duxfine said...

Cat,n. Fuzzy indifference.

Doug said...

You heard me, Chatcat, and Walela scratches me just fine, thank you.

Little Bar of Christopher, amen.

Karma, it helpsif you don't lick mice.

Elton John! Well done, Shayna!

Hear! Hear! Icy! Good girl!

Good definition, Duxfine.

AP3 said...


Why are so many people so anti-cat?

Don't you know that "cat" spelled backwards is "tac"?

Cat, n. Master of its domain, and yours too.

Cowgirl said...

Thanks Doug!

I love cats AND dogs. (rejection in a rabbit skin seems a little harsh...lol)

Cat - lap warmer and assistant typist.

Sar said...

Congratulations, Doug. Between yesterday's and today's posts, you have successfully transformed my intellectual playground into a dog blog. My Sasha says "hisssssss".

And I say I'm too sexy for my cat.

Doug said...

Purrrrfect definition, Aral (it was bound to happen.) Why are so many cats anti-person?

Cowgirl, it's my job here. But I commend you on a kinder, gentler but still funny definition.

A cat is not a dog, Sar, Willie will have you know and probably Chatcat too. Well done on a very funny, clever and entirely inappropriate last line.

Miz BoheMia said...

Meow! What's up with all the pussy cat haters?

Cat~ the vavoom and oomph behind my alter ego Catty Yummy Mummy. Behave or else... K-kish!

Meow baby, MEOW!

The Phoenix said...

Cat: very much conditional love

Miz BoheMia said...

Cat... mysterious creatures who shall reveal themselves only to those who are willing to open their eyes...

Cat... multiply by 5 and they make up a village that raised a bohemian to her shocked state of womanhood...

Sar said...

But you see Doug, coming on the heels of yesterday's word and subsequent dialog, you've solidified your site as a dog blog by your reducing cats in favor of dogs today.

And I'm still too sexy for my cat.

Indeterminacy said...

Cats: successful musicals.

As opposed to dogs: unsuccessful musicals.

Forgive me.

Cowgirl said...

Sar has a point.

Doug said...

Meow, Miz B!

Absolutely, Phoenix.

Cats can be reduced, Sar? Which wine would you use?

Indie, I'll forgive you your partisanship if you'll go back and read Saturday's story. Sheesh.

Et tu, Cowgirl?

Jamie Dawn said...

The best kind of cat is one who thinks it's a dog.

We had one like that once. Best cat we ever had on the ranch.

Minka said...

cat, a true testiment to the ideology that not everything in nature has a function

Minka said...

Ok, that was kinda mean!

let me try again:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. -- Jeff Valdez

Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you.

Minka said...


hey, it´s raining cats and dogs!

Minka said...

I am so tired :)

Cowgirl said...

"The best kind of cat is one who thinks it's a dog."

Jamie Dawn, I know some like that. They were all barn cats.

I am not sure what my cat thinks he is. Probably a human or perhaps a superior being. Somehow he remains grounded and un-aloof.

Slightly off topic, I have chickens here on the farm that come running when they hear me yell "Heeeerrree kitty, kitty, kitty!" They like cat food.

actonbell said...

CAT: Can't Answer That.

(it's a secret, and if you need to ask, you're not as smart as me~~purrrr)

SquareGirl said...

I don't dislike cats, but I have to say that I believe they prove that animals can have schizophrenia or autsim. No offence to anyone with those diagnosis's (as they are many of my favorite people) or to cats, but I do find that there can be some strange similarities at times....if you don't believe me, you might need to do more observation.

Doug said...

Jamie Dawn When I was 2 I used to ride our cat, Sam. The BEST kind of cat thinks it's a horse.

Yes, Minka, give it to me. Cruelty to cats is revenge for our sisters and brothers who have them. And let's talk about Derrick and Harry. What mercy would be shown them?

Cowgirl, chickens make cats seem sweet. At least cats don't usually eat each other.

Haha, Actonbell. You're so SMART!!!!

Squaregirl, I'll accept your hypothesis if it can be proven that autism is a choice.

Ariella and Logo said...

We LOVE this definition
(snicker snicker)!
We love Dogtist filth and and we love Doug!!

Doug said...

Thank you, Ariella and Logo. I knew you'd understand.

ariel said...

"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it." Robert Heinlein

a late quote :-)

Doug said...

That's awesome, Ariel! My humility as a dog requires me to put aside my bias as a man.

George Forgan-Smith said...

LOL, but isn't life always like that. BTW I have been trying to find a good alaskan malamute breeder do you have any ideas? Nancy