Monday, March 20, 2006

Dog

Dog, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. This Divine Being in some of his smaller and silkier incarnations takes, in the affection of Woman, the place to which there is no human male aspirant. The Dog is a survival -- an anachronism. He toils not, neither does he spin, yet Solomon in all his glory never lay upon a door-mat all day long, sun-soaked and fly-fed and fat, while his master worked for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.



2006 Update: A creature of the eighth day demonstrating what can be accomplished when omnipotence and a fine rest are joined. Our noble cousin, Homo Mendicantus.

32 comments:

Chatham said...

If we cats do our job correctly, there AIN'T no overflow of affection for mere dogs!

Dog: that creature that knows not that humans are here to serve US.

Solace Cai said...

Dog: typically considered man's best friend, but after asking a few of my male friends I discovered that they meant cocker spaniels or labs or great danes, not poodles or yorkies and other small breeds.

duxfine said...

Dog,n. Created in acknowledgement of the inherent human need for a basic relationship with another creature who is both guileless and warm blooded.

Minka said...

Ok, here it goes:

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make
a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you,
but he will make a fool of himself too."

- Samuel Butler

Hence:
To err is human:To forgive, canine.

:) Thought that sums it up!

Minka said...

I´ll throw these in for good measure!

"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god
and a dog to a man."

- Ambrose Bierce

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."

- Woodrow Wilson

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit,
you would stay out and your dog would go in."

- Mark Twain

shayna said...

Baby back
Dressed in black
Silver buttons all down her back
High hose, tippy toes
She broke the needle and she can sew

Walking the dog
I'm just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to walk the dog
C'mon now c'mon

I asked her mother for fifteen cents
I see you ever jumped the fence
I jumped so high, touched the skies
Didn't get back 'til a quarter to five

Walking the dog
I'm just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to walk the dog
C'mon c'mon now

Tell me Mary, what's your twelve
How does your garden grow
What with silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row

Walking the dog
I'm just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to walk the dog
C'mon now c'mon

Baby, back
Dressed in black
Silver buttons all down her back
High hose, tippy toes
She broke the needle and she can sew

Walking the dog
I'm just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to walk the dog
C'mon now c'mon

karma said...

that's so cool, dog. i'm straining at the leash for more

Sar said...

I don't have a definition today, but rather a question.

As my favorite blog dog and obviously proud pappa of the lovely lady Walela and Willie the Wonderdog, how did you manage to refrain from defining Dog all this time?!

(Thanks for sharing the movie clips. Beautiful dogs, beautiful scenery, and my little one will get a big kick out them when I show her later.)

ariel said...

"You, you might see me joggin'
You might see me walkin'
You might see me walkin' a dead rottweiler dog"

Eminem

(that dead rottweiler dog thing has always had an effect on me.)

AP3 said...

Great films!

My earworm today, courtesy of George Clinton and P-Funk:

"Why must I be like that, why must I chase the cat? Nothin' but the dog in me..."

Doug said...

Chatcat, I knew when I posted today that you would be the first one here. I wasn't off by much on your comment either.

Solace, Blue-Tick Beagles and Medium-sized wolves are good too. I would put a cocker spaniel in the other category, by the way. Great to see you here, though.

Absolutely, Duxfine.

Minka, *claps**wags*

Elmore James, Shayna? Awesome!

They're cute, right Karma? By the way, have I mentioned how much I liked your story on Saturday?

Sar, I hope the Amazing A enjoys! I'm laughing at your question because it was one of the first words I wanted to put in here and I've been patiently waiting for a year.

For real, Ariel. That's a Dylan-caliber weird lyric.

I love it, AP3. Good earworm! I guess I could have done a transitive verb definition, but I try to keep the site clean. Lula?

The Phoenix said...

Dog: Unconditional lover

Diamonelle said...

To disrespect, as in, "Pansi thinks you dogged her, Doug."

Jamie Dawn said...

I like your definition, Doug.

Dog: A word with several meanings, and some of them contradictary.
"He's a dog!"
"What's up, dog?"
"My dogs are barking!"
"Mr. Boss is the top dog."
"Simba is a good dog."
"I want a hot dog."

ariel said...

Eminem can be surreal, that's what I like about him.

poodles and yorkies are completely normal dogs under normal circumstances, if they are treated like dogs not like dolls, I mean.

where did you travel to see snow, Doug? I used to know someone in Arizona that had his yearly snow trips, as snow didn't come to him...

Doug said...

Amen, Phoenix.

Diamonelle, Pansi must have misunderstood. I wonder what.

Haha, Jamie Dawn. Great list.

Agreed, Ariel. Treat a dog like a dog and you have a friend. Treat a dog like a toy and you've got something to fix. To answer your question, every weekend the dogs and I hike in the mountains between our home and Los Angeles. Two weekends ago, the city had rain and the mountains snow.

ariel said...

Californian snow

Minka said...

Isn´t that Randy Jackson guy in American Idol, constantly referring to these four legged creatures. What´s up with that?

Ariella said...

YAY!!!
and again we say,
YAY!!
define cat for chatcat tomorrow
(snicker snicker)
Quoting this definition is what caused Weirsdo to point me in your direction so it holds a very special place.
here's to dogs, Bierce, and on-line communities!

Doug said...

Ariel, it exists. We even have famous ski resorts although not in LA.

Minka, I have no idea what you're saying right now.

Cheers, Ariel, and three cheers for Weirsdo.

shayna said...

Well... Elmore James is awesome but my version is the one of the Rolling Stones... Mick Jagger... DUHHHH! LOL!;)

Cowgirl said...

I agree with Phoenix - unconditional love.

My dog is my best friend. He is always happy to see me, never wants me to go, and is easy to please. He is a better judge of character than most people that I know.

Randy Jackson way over uses the word dawg. Absolutely annoying.

I agree; define cat tomorrow. So appropriate.

Miz BoheMia said...

I loves me Jamie Dawn's list!

To cat lovers I say (and I being one of them) that this bohemian believes our Dawgy Doug to be one cool cat! Meow!

Forgive me for the order of the day is more along the lines of WOOF!

Manchego said...

"A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself." - josh billings.

Doug said...

Forgive me, Shayna. I didn't realize one of my rivals was involved.

OK, Cowgirl. Cat tomorrow. Unless I forget. Then God knows.

Arf!, Miz B, y ¡feliz compleaƱos!

Manchego, welcome back! A great quote, but Willie loves his belly and lame squirrels best and I'd have him no other way.

Manchego said...

Yeah, Doug, I know what you mean. Oops...hear that?...it's SUPPER time. arf. Good to be back.

Tom & Icy said...

You guys are looking good. Love to be there. Looks like a great place to sniff around.

Cowgirl said...

Just a reminder about defining cat. *smiles*

Indeterminacy said...

Dog: The next best way to spell god.

actonbell said...

I couldn't comment last night because blogger was treating me like a do--I mean, blogger wasn't very nice to me.

Great definitions! Beautiful friends, too:)

Doug said...

Don't be late, Manchego.

Icy, come on over. Dusty can tell jokes and Willie will dance a three-legged jig.

Cowgirl, taken care of but thanks. :-)

Indie, next best to what?

Thanks for your fortitude, Actonbell. Blogger is clearly run by cats.

Kyahgirl said...

I was just perusing Devil's dictionary and saw
'dog' and wondered if you had ever posted it. I came to look and voila! Here it is.
Dogliness is next to Godliness for sure.

Casper is wagging-he must be able to read what I'm writing!