Monday, March 06, 2006

Commerce

Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

2006 Update: An exchange in which things of value prosper by falling into the grasping hands of strangers.

Remember to vote inThe Koufax AwardsOur Pia is a worthy candidate in the Best Blog-non-professional and the Best writer categories. You vote in the comments section. According Alice Omnipotent Poobah is also a candidate and I hope to find the category and vote for him as well today.

35 comments:

karma said...

a whole new way of grasping the alphabet

Indeterminacy said...

Commerce - A gentler form of communism in which only rich people prosper.

Tom & Icy said...

tossing perils before swine

Doug said...

Karma, I think it's what the alphabet was made for.

Indie, that is gentle.

Icy! Brilliant!!! Good girl!!!!!

Sar said...

Well this is interesting. According to Dictionary Dot Com, Commerce is defined as follows...

1. The buying and selling of goods, especially on a large scale, as between cities or nations. See Synonyms at business.

2. Intellectual exchange or social interaction.

3. Sexual intercourse.

I was prepared to leave a comment about how Waking Ambrose provides stellar commerce, but people might get the wrong idea and this stiletto has a reputation to protect! ;)

Omnipotent Poobah said...

commerce - Money laundering.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oooooweeee! And here I was feeling downtrodden and dejected due to my commercial failures but Sar's #2 and #3 suit me to a tee!

I would say the activity described in #2 is right up this delightful place's alley! Oh surely it is!

As for #3.... hey Loverboy! Come on over 'cause this BoheMia can be nothing short of dynamic in... er... commerce. Hmmm...

PS~ the previous commenter was me with the wrong name! Eeeek! As for Poobah, I have a link to his category over at my place!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Commerce, n., A means of making money, generally to gain happiness. But money doesn't bring happiness. A girl with a hundred million dollars is no happier than one with just ten million, I betcha.

One type of commerce may lead to another type of commerce. Also see if you've got the money honey, I've got the time.

Doug said...

Good point, Sar. This isn't that kind of site, although I can provide URLs to anyone interested.

Haha, Poobah.

Thanks, Miz B. Everyone over to Miz B's to vote for Poobah.

TLP, that's why I try to keep my money spread around. I agree that Sar's first definition and third could probably be combined.

mireille said...

How we get filthy lucre. xoxo

Tan Lucy Pez said...

So, let me see if I have this right: You spread money around yourself and hope for commerce? Do you have pictures?

(I'm assuming that you are now back from your trip and I am allowed to make fun of you. If you are still away, and harping on you is therefore taboo, then I'll just suggest that you glue your money anywhere you think it would do the most good.)

a4g said...

Commerce, n.

1. An incorporated city in southeast Los Angeles county with legalized poker clubs, where the stale stench of unbathed bodies surrounds gamblers nursing watery cocktails, clutching cards tight in chubby fists, suspiciously eyeing a table full of enemies in hopes of being first to claim the pile of lucre waiting for the player with the necessary combination of luck, timing, and ruthlessness.

2. Capitalism.

Doug said...

Mireille, filthy lucre is the best isn't it?

TLP, I'm back at my desk, busy in the pursuit of commerce. Mock at will.

a4g, this is only tangentially related, but have you figured out what "No Bust Blackjack is?" Man, I hate I-5.

duxfine said...

Commerce, n. Gentrification of the olde English "highwayman."

cooper said...

uh

commerce; selling the ipod for that new pair of designer jeans and shoes.


Twern't me I never read poobah but will surely do ti now.

Jamie Dawn said...

Commerce: How with cheap prices Walmart manages to rob me blind.

ariel said...

commerce, n, aliby made up to give money a reason.

to join the discussion: Sar's 1st and 3rd definitions has already been combined, and called The Most Ancient Commerce.

kyahgirl said...

can never think of anything witty to say but always enjoy your commentors!

Doug said...

Absolutely, Duxfine. Conversely, Bierce's definition of PIRACY is "Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.

Cooper, T'warnt? Miz B, then. I have lots of jeans I'd trade for an iPod. Make nice tents, too.

The scoundrels, Jamie Dawn! They make things any cheaper, we'll all be broke.

Ariel, we all know the real purpose of money is so that we have something to do with all those old portraits. Good point about the most ancient commerce.

Kyah, it's always nice to have you around.

AP3 said...

commerce, n. The powerful force that keeps the Academy from letting the Oscars get too queer.

Sar said...

Doug - You neglected to thank my caption contest results page for those URLs.

SquareGirl said...

An excuse for currency

Doug said...

Aral, it was surprising they only came half out, wasn't it?

Sar, huh?

Squaregirl, that's a very funny idea you were second with. See Ariel.

a4g said...

No Bust Blackjack, n. The game being enjoyed by the dealer and the players to your immediate right and left.

SquareGirl said...

yes, well, apparentally I have learned nothing from Friday's word and am destined to repeat the past.

dddragon said...

I tried four times to post a comment and Blogger ate up each one.

aargh.

actonbell said...

commerce~working all day to line the pockets of a large company so you can buy cool shoes.

Minka said...

I just voted, finally it was open. I voted for President Bush :)
commerce= teenage vernacular for: come thee hence!

karma said...

i want to vote for Sar.
goods or sex, its all about exchange. i want to trade my halo for a penthouse in Beverly Hills. any takers?

logo said...

I want to be commerced by you,
just you,
and nobody else will do,
I want to be commerced by you alooooone,
boo boo be doo.

actonbell said...

*snicker* what brew's logo got, huh?

Doug said...

Hahaha, a4g. Well done.

Squaregirl, I shouldn't have brought it up. All is vanity.

Dddragon I had the very same problem on your site this morning. That Blogger! If they think they can keep us from talking, they have another think coming. Thanks for your persistence.

Haha, Actonbell. Very cute. The greedy SOBs.

Hail to the chief, Monika.

Karma, I hope your halo is in better shape than my penthouse.

Logo, drinking and commenting is...perfectly legal.

*snicker with you* Actonbell. Hey, where does the comma go with **s?

Sal Banana said...

A machine helped along by sticky fingers.

shayna said...

Girls on the beaches commit a sin
They don't show yards and yards of skin
Preceding message to you has been
Through the courtesy of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce

Maybe your yen is for tennis courts
Maybe romancing is in your thoughts
Enjoy all outdoor and indoor sports
Through the courtesy of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce

Any male in Fort Lauderdale who is not pursuing a cute female
Will automatically land in jail
That's the law in Fort Lauderdale

Pretty girls eighteen to twenty-three
If their technique ain't what it should be
Get love instruction for free from me
Through the courtesy of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce

A little Elvis for you dear Doug...

Indeterminacy said...

Can we have footnotes at Waking Ambrose?

The German Dadaistic artist Kurt Schwitters founded an art movement he called "Merz" which derived from the word Kommerzbank (Commerce Bank) with intended references to the German verb "ausmerzen" (to blot out) and the French word merde.