Saturday, March 25, 2006

Fire and Ice, Part V

Story #37, the fifth and final chapter in a 2-part true story

To hear the story, pay homage to Pepsi

To read the story, follow me through the jungle.

And a couple of confessions: First, on further reflection I believe this was the summer of 1993, not 1992. Second, looking at a map, I think the Volcanoes were named Fire and Water, not Fire and Ice. So sue me.


Joe Law, Esq. said...

Good Morning Mr. Pascover,

I'm an attorney representing Sar. We're hereby filing suit for your misleading and never ending volcanic stories. In lieu of compensetory damages, Sar is seeking that you cease and disist from from sharing any further information pertaining to these alleged events.

Although Sar greatly admires the images you've used and the effort you've made to entertain your readers, should you choose to not comply with the requests of this suit, the brawling belle wants to assure you there will be hell to pay.

Thank you for your timely and full cooperation, and have a nice day.

Tom & Icy said...

battle, voting with weapons where hanging chads are martyrs.

Wallace and Gromit, esq. said...

To your high-heeled penetrating menace!

Our royal client- sister and defense lawyer and soon-to-be television star- has instructed us to acknowledge your appeal, yet refuse it with icicle precision.
The crime in question has been committed in good will and lack of a muse. A sarcastic outlook on life has led our client to wander in insomnia and it has been revealed that re-occuring nightmares, where he roams threatening mountains, are indeed a constant threat to his health. Our medical examiner will attest to the afore mentioned. We, hereby apply for bail in the amount of 50 quit and we also would love to see you for tea!
How doe snext Thursday sound to you?

Minka said...

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Henry Kissinger

Doug said...

Counsel, Mr. Law, you ask the brawling bimbo what part of "final chapter" she doesn't understand!

That's funny. Icy! Good girl!

I love Wallace and Gromit! You all tell me what to do next and thanks for the back-up. 50 quid it is.

Minka, that's double funny. I think Kissinger reached a compromise, though.

dddragon said...

*sob* no more volcano stories?!?

Cowgirl said...

Battle - a necessary evil.

actonbell said...

I can hardly wait for the next adventure! THese volcano stories were a real blast, and good luck with the courtroom battle.

OH-is that the next adventure?

Indeterminacy said...

Yes, but which three of the five were fiction?

Doug said...

Dddragon, you can find your way home, can't you?

Cowgirl, evil is a strong word. Inconvenience?

Actonbell, maybe we should have a court battle here one of these days.

Indie, not the one with the hermit. That happened.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Fear not Doug! Contact Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe of PBS fame. They'll stomp that heel Sar. 'Course, I kinda like Sar, so maybe they could just advise you to settle with her...maybe a box of Schwartz' Candies?

Great story. Is any of it true...just askin'. I'm dizzy from the altitude of the volcano. (Also the attitude.)

Cowgirl said...

The kind of battle I will end up in is not an inconvience. Don't forget that I am a medic in the ARNG.

We have battle rattle and learn to take our battle buddy everywhere, even out to the bars.

AP3 said...

I've loved these volcano stories! I think in part it's 'cause it keeps reminding me of my own hike up Vesuvius... But they've been great.

Good luck in court.

Doug said...

Good point, TLP, and they work cheap during the pledge drive. Sar won't know what hit her.

True, Cowgirl, and bless you for that.

Thanks, Aral. We'll always have the reruns.

A Little Bar of Soap said...

Greetings from the beyond!

How lovely that you and Indie are both thinking of volcanoes.

God loves you.

cooper said...

Gee my "being carried off by the Costa Rican army that isn't after having a fit and spitting on the guide because the clouds were covering the volcano and I couldn't see it well" pales in comparison.

It is always a battle to try and top you Doug and I am weary.

Miz BoheMia said...

*GASP* What happened to us dome dwellers? You mean it wasn't real? That cabin is NOT mine? What?

I am distraught, DISTRAUGHT I SAY!

I do love Sar. Give her a pair of sexy stilettoes and she shall be a happy blue gal...

Back to me... I... AM... DISTRAUGHT!!!

Doug said...

God bless, Soapy. You were loved on Earth as in Heaven and are missed.

Cooper, you do everything with such class. I can only shake my head in wonder.

Oh, Miz B, I left out the part about "The gypsy, the Dragon and the Hermit lived happily ever after." Darn my poor memory!

Inpector Ghote, Mumbai Police said...

Shri Pascover,

It is giving me great pain in my honourable backside to book you under Section 420, Indian Penal Code, but I have received instructions from Interpol for your immediate arrest.

Charges have been levied against you from a certain well-heeled American lady with a spiky and exalted reputation, which are stated hereinunder:

*Deliberately misleading the public
*Making them groan once a week
*Assasinating characters
*Fraudulent reports

However, since all our jails are heavily populated and overfull at the moment, I am having no choice but to travelling to your great country and personally putting you under house arrest.

Kindly arrange for my visa with immediate effect.

Yours sincerely,
Inpector Ghote

ariel said...

ONCE a week? phew, for a moment I thought they were talking about you, Doug...

dddragon said...

oh, well, then it's all okay if you left out that last sentence.

what a relief!

Doug said...

Inspector, Shri Pascover seems so formal. Call me Doug.

Nope, Ariel, they have the wrong guy.

Not to fear, Dddragon. Immortal's immortal. I believe, however, that the dragon twins did go on to commit many scurrilous acts, however. Thought you should know.

ariel said...

good jungle. I like it.

logo™ said...

oh mah stars,
the comments are priceless, PRICELESS!
The fifth part of the two-part true story was fine and all, but the comments had my laughing.
Doug, I happen to know a really cheap lawyer, I don't think he is good, but he is unemployed, if you are interested.

Doug said...

Ariel, the greenest desert.

Logo, thanks so much. Does he know much trivia?

Kyahgirl said...

I can't wait for the day I can get high speed at home so I can listen to your stories Doug. I'll have to go back and listen to them all. *sigh*

Doug said...

Kyah, I'm flattered. You might try the podcast, if you like. There's a link in the written stories and you can subscribe for free through iTunes which would download while you do other things.