Friday, March 03, 2006

Vanity

Vanity, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
They say that hens do cackle loudest when
There's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid;
And there are hens, professing to have made
A study of mankind, who say that men
Whose business 'tis to drive the tongue or pen
Make the most clamorous fanfaronade
O'er their most worthless work; and I'm afraid
They're not entirely different from the hen.
Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,
His blazing breeches and high-towering cap --
Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,
Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!
Who'd think this gorgeous creature's only virtue
Is that in battle he will never hurt you?

-Hannibal Hunsiker

2006 Update: 1. The love that doth purge.
2. Creating a website to hold the contents of your weblog.

42 comments:

karma said...

vanity is scoffed at by people who have nothing to be vain about.

its not that bad, when one is beautiful and smart and sharp and focused and witty and multi-talented and intelligent. nah, not that bad at all

cooper said...

ha ha

Damn one minute ago I was first and it passed.

Vanity: knowing that you are just waiting for me to come and post a comment in your blog.

AP3 said...

Vanity, n. All is vanity.

Doug said...

Karma, a nice voice doesn't hurt nothin' either I bet.

Cooper, finally a day I can focus on work.

Aral, the sun also rises.

ME Strauss said...

The small table with the very large mirror at which I sit all day to admire myself. I'd tell you more about it, but I really have noticed much, that woman in the mirror is attractive, I just can't take my eyes off her.

duxfine said...

Vanity,n. Genus, homo sapien: The prime mover, appearing in many and varied manifestations, and vehemently denied only within the species.

Miz BoheMia said...

Vanity... barely there in my skivvies, cereal bowl in hand, yet hair and makeup intact, and shocked look in place... what? You thought I wake up that beautiful? It takes work, sweat, dedication and oodles of vanity! Delish!

Vanity... nope... not me! I flash my breasts out of true concern for the milkless souls of the world... no vanity here, not at all...

'nuf said!

Doug said...

Liz, give'er a wink.

Duxfine, the glory that is humanity is cruelty.

Haha, Miz B. Those that have not milk, let them have beads.

weirsdo said...

The emptiness we fill with dreams of how we wish we were.

duxfine said...

Indeed Doug, and the glory is a clarity attained only when self-delusion is jettisoned, either by choice, or usually by cruel necessity. The delimma then becomes a matter of degree, wouldn't you agree? I fear I am a recovering corrosive, struggling backward toward acerbic, and perhaps someday, wry. Ambrose is my twelve step program.

Sar said...

Vanity: Representing ones self with a sexy stiletto.

Doug said...

Yeah, Weirsdo. Even meaner. Pfffft.

Duxfine, I bow. Most of us find Bierce takes us the other way. You must be glorious.

Sar, I thought that you were a shoe. Is nothing to believed in this sorry world?

duxfine said...

Your assessment is far too flattering. I simply lack the creativity to return to my point of origin by any other means than retracing my steps. Fortunately, the birds did not eat all of the bread crumbs, but a successfull journey is by no means assured.

pia said...

Vanity: something I have written about in my very vain blog as being good for you

Vanity: the first word of a major magazine

Miz BoheMia said...

Vanity... fodder for the ego...

Vanity... coming back for more!

mireille said...

Vanity: that thin line between healthy self-esteem and pig-at-the-trough, fall-in-the-water-admiring-your-reflection narcissism. xoxo

fluttergirl said...

Vanity: reading and commenting on other people's blogs to see your name in print.

Hold me.

Doug said...

Well, Duxfine, at least your pillows will be downy soft when you get there.

Fair enough, Pia.

I'll be here, Miz B.

Mireille, there's a line?

There, there, Revi. It's a delight to see your name in print over here.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Is it so wrong to be vain? It's easy for all of you to be modest. After all, you don't have that much to be vain about.

Vanity, n., Self-love. Used to persuade oneself that no one else notices one's flaws.

I can't overestimate how good my definition is today.

Jamie Dawn said...

Doug's #2 is funny. Uh, you KNOW what I mean.

Vanity: An obsessive need for mirrors.

ariel said...

ROTFL TLP

Doug said...

TLP, I am weeping and Abraham is clutching his bosom.

Jamie Dawn, by that definition I am not vain. No reflection.

Ariel, did TLP seem like she needed encouragement?

Tom & Icy said...

Icy is so vain, she thought you were talking about her.

still life said...

Vanity (n) a self-entourage


Hi! I'm kinda back...

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: Your definition is so on target. (Isn't this a great comment)?

Jamie Dawn said...

Still Life's "self-entourage" takes the cake!

But, I'm vain enough to toss out another.

Vanity: Annoyance when attention is on another. Spotlight hoggers.

Minka said...

Vanity is never given nor received in vain!

shayna said...

hummm....mememe...lalala...memememe...

You'll never be what she needs
She'll always leave
With your sanity
She'll never do what you want her to
You know it's true
Ms. Vanity
That's just the way she is

Loves to turn you on
And you think you can't go wrong
She comes, and then she's gone
That's just the way she is
Yeah, that's the way she is
Ms. Vanity

Knowing you can't wait for me to sing to you... vanity! ;)

Thinking I am the only one who sings to you... vanity? naive?

Jenna Howard said...

Vanity? Never heard of it. Princess like me do not pay attention to words beneath our recognition.

Doug said...

Tom, that's the song. The post is about Dusty.

Still-Life, that's a fantastic definition! And good news, too.

Indie, I thought I just heard angels sing a Hosanna.

Darn those spot-light hoggers like Still Life, Jamie Dawn. I agree, by the way.

Monika, neither is decrepitude.

Shayna, I have to confess my dogs sing to me, but you have the best lyrics.

Jenna, Writer Princess, please do not let your humble servant trouble you with mere articles.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

You're so vain you probably think this blog is about you. As if!,

Now, where were we? Talking about me I think...

Omnipotent Poobah said...

vanity - Admiring one's reflection in the shiny surface of their van.

SquareGirl said...

re: 2. hahahaha, acknowledgment of ones own hypocrisy negates vanity

Thinking THIS song (as well as several others) is about you...well it is isn't it?

SquareGirl said...

Vanity, commenting before reading anyone elses comments (even TLP's) and thinking you were the first one to come up with an obvious Carly Simon reference, even thoug it was far less clever than another commenter.

Doug said...

TLP, that's my favorite topic. Let's discuss your vanity.

Poobah, I envy you your shiny surface.

SquareGirl, it's OK, I think TLP missed that Tom & Icy had done the same riff. You do have to get up pretty early to get ahead of Tan Lucy, though. Just sayin'

SquareGirl said...

You mean this post was also about Icy, TLP and not JUST ME??? Where's a mirror and a microphone when you need one?

Doug said...

SquareGirl, check your wallet.

Comfort Addict said...

Self-hatred disguised as self-love.

Cowgirl said...

"If there is a single quality that is shared by all great men, it is vanity. But I mean by "vanity" only that they appreciate their own worth. Without this kind of vanity they would not be great. And with vanity alone, of course, a man is nothing."

Doug said...

CA, self-hatred with gel in its hair?

Great quote, Cowgirl. Who is it?

Cowgirl said...

Yousuf Karsh, quit the witty photographer in his day.

Thanks for visiting my little cowgirl haven...I find your blog very...well I don't know. But I do know that I like it, so that's all that truly matters.

Cowgirl said...

My bad. I meant quite the photographer, not quit.
Can't help it, having been up too long.