Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Hades

HADES, n. The lower world; the residence of departed spirits; the place where the dead live.

Among the ancients the idea of Hades was not synonymous with our Hell, many of the most respectable men of antiquity residing there in a very comfortable kind of way. Indeed, the Elysian Fields themselves were a part of Hades, though they have since been removed to Paris. When the Jacobean version of the New Testament was in process of evolution the pious and learned men engaged in the work insisted by a majority vote on translating the Greek word "Aides" as "Hell"; but a conscientious minority member secretly possessed himself of the record and struck out the objectional word wherever he could find it. At the next meeting, the Bishop of Salisbury, looking over the work, suddenly sprang to his feet and said with considerable excitement: "Gentlemen, somebody has been razing 'Hell' here!" Years afterward the good prelate's death was made sweet by the reflection that he had been the means (under Providence) of making an important, serviceable and immortal addition to the phraseology of the English tongue.

2008 Update: Protected by a three-headed dog, ruled by a single-minded king and his ambivalent wife, a vast underground mythological collection of dead ambitions and thriving confusions analogous to the modern mom-and-pop business enterprise boondoggle.

13 comments:

the amoeba said...

HADES, n. The final resting place of Gary Larson's cows.

Tom & Icy said...

Sometimes it seems that life itself is a boondoggle. But then, other times it seems like pure Hades.

quilly said...

HADES n.
Final stop in a long wide, road paved with good intentions, bad behavior, and too much enjoyment of such.

HEAVEN n.
Final stop in a long wide, road paved with good intentions, bad behavior, and repentance for the enjoyment of such.

Jim said...

Hades: Hotter than H**s*!

Hades: Which is a worse place to be, Hades or Hell?

Hades: Thanks for the mythology lesson, I didn't know or have forgotten about those three dogs.
Guess I'd better head to the library and get some smarts. At least is it a cool place to be!

Ariel the Thief said...

Hades, the name the best dog wears. I swear my brother was sober when named her. :-)

actonbell said...

I hear that's where Fluffy is living, now.

TLP said...

Hot vacation spot.

sauerkraut said...

Why does Hades come so close to rhyming with pilates? I'll prolly go to hell for asking that question.

Or the couch.

Oscar Wilde said...

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

cooper said...

The subways of New York are their own kind of Hades, the sewers as well.

A three headed dog?

Really?

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

If the dog has three Icy heads it wil be relly sweet!

Doug said...

Amoeba, Gone but not unmilked.

Icy, sounds like a good day.

What a difference a rood makes, huh, Quill?

Jim, I go for the air condition and stay for the librarian.

Ariel, no dog should be named sober. He got lucky.

Actonbell, fluffy the lawnbunny?

TLP, I hear there's a nice Unitarian old folks home there.

Couch, Sauerkraut. With a rhyming dictionary.

Weirsdo, that would explain the mist.

Cerberus, Cooper. I once saw him on the "A" train.

Definitely, boy. Definitely.

tsduff said...

"He went down to Hades
And sizzled and fried..."

Used to sing that song when I was young... Mom loved to sing it too.

She would say "It's hotter than Hades"... and it was.