Wednesday, June 03, 2009

The Congressional Limo

The board of directors at GM, it seems,
Will be America, building American dreams:
The doors reinforced with rule of law,
The seat restraint strengthened with justice for all,
The chassis inclusive, with seats for the many-
Muhammed, Maria, Nga-chi, Sigmund and Lenny.
The fuel will be freedom, the kind that burns good,
Driving four pious pistons strapped under the hood.
Free thought through the solenoid will crank up the starter
Free speech presses the clutch-plate against the transmission, a martyr.
When you park with the valet, please warn the attendent
The seat warmers uphold the second amendment.
The designers in congress, for everyone's sakes
Built in civil discourse as pads for the brakes,
And each senator, wherever he or she sits,
Will surely add airbags, wherever one fits.
Shiny and sleek, brightly colored and long
Tell your neighbors with pride you bought yours for a song.

COMMITTEE, n. A collective sequestered to prevent progress and pester.


Nessa said...

You are so right, Doug. Committee is just another word for nothing gets done.

Am I first? And all alone?

TLP said...

Good stuff today!

Nothing used to strike fear in my heart like when still employed I was told, "you have been assigned to such-and-such committee."

Committee: time waster

pia said...

Saw a building I know well--up close and personal on TV last night and for the first time it hit me--that's the GM building. But is it? Has anybody from GM worked in it for years? Thing is it's on Fifth in the high 50's, maybe 60--FAO Schwarz is on the first floor--prime real estate. Now I have to see if they still own it and if they do why didn't they sell it years ago? All kinds of things like that

Your poems get funnier and funnier and inspire (obviously( trite monologues on my part

the amoeba said...

If fiat money is something that the government declares to be legal tender, what's a fiat automobile ...?

quilly said...

COMMITTEE n. a collection of people gathered together to argue the pros and cons of a project at hand -- with the hopes that said arguements will keep them out of the way of the people actually doing the work.

Jamie Dawn said...

Your definition is so right on the money... 50 billion tax dollars or so for the car industry... Lord help us!
The poem is excellent.

I'll catch up with the weekend story later this week. I am anxious to see what's been happening! Hopefully my prayers have been answered and Frau Braun has a bad case of shingles as well as boils inside and out.


We drove through Macon or by it on our way to Savannah. I think you lived in Macon at one time, if I remember correctly. Georgia is a wonderful, beautiful state. I could easily move there, rename myself Scarlett and sip iced tea or mint juleps for the rest of my days.

Doug said...

Nessa, you are the chair of the ad hoc first committee.

Lordy, blogmama, don't I know it. The worst thing about my job might be that I have to assign myself to committees. That's like limping because you shot your foot on purpose.

Pia, your comments are getting funnier and funnier lately, too. Welcome to the South.

Amoeba, something the government declares to be Chrysler?

Quilly, that's as hopeless as the committee itself.

JD, I never lived in Macon, but I spent a couple weeks there, where I met Willie who was born there.

Tom & Icy said...

Never been in a limo and dread that last long ride in a long black one.
As for committee, I knew a 'committee of one' who was bipolar and all the votes came out a tie.

Cooper said...

Love the poem, and yeah committees are virtually useless unless they are a committee of one. Or to quote Robert Copeland - whoever he is -
"To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent".

Jientje said...

Your clever way with words and your "sharp pen" as we call it here always impress me. And humble me.

Doug said...

Funny, Icy. I don't fear the long limo, as long as it's air conditioned.

Cooper, wasn't he in The Police?

Nah, Jientje, pens just look sharper on a tan background. Thanks, though.

Ariel the Thief said...

I am not making jokes of pens and pencils!

Doug said...

Ariel, Americans think more in terms of telephone poles and railroad spikes.

Ariel the Thief said...

No surprise. They say, in France a perfect breast fills a wine glass. In New York a perfect breast would clog a toilet.

weirsdo said...

I don't know. Mine always has this red ink dripping out of the bottom of it.