Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Fib

FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
When David said: "All men are liars," Dave,
Himself a liar, fibbed like any thief.
Perhaps he thought to weaken disbelief
By proof that even himself was not a slave
To Truth; though I suspect the aged knave
Had been of all her servitors the chief
Had he but known a fig's reluctant leaf
Is more than e'er she wore on land or wave.
No, David served not Naked Truth when he
Struck that sledge-hammer blow at all his race;
Nor did he hit the nail upon the head:
For reason shows that it could never be,
And the facts contradict him to his face.
Men are not liars all, for some are dead.
—Bartle Quinker
2009 Update: An assertion that compensates by meekness for the absence of veracity. A lie lacking ambition.

13 comments:

TLP said...

Your update is perfect.

Fib: A lie that doesn't count.

I'm first, and that's no lie.

Nessa said...

Fib: A harmless misdirection of the truth.

I can not tell I lie; I can only tell stories.

Tom & Icy said...

I love your blog.

pia said...

Tom & Icy's comment was too perfect

Jamie Dawn said...

I agree with your return comment about Stewart & Jasper's almond caramel corn. It would not be a fib to say that it is better than Fiddle Faddle; it would be a WHOPPER of a LIE to say that Fiddle Faddle was better than S & J's corn!! They have this fairly new product called Carmel Puffs (or something like that). It is outrageously fattening and highly addicting. I cannot allow it to be kept in the house or I'd turn into a carmel puff myself. Next time I'm in southern CA, I'll do my best to have some on hand to give you. Only a bag or two though, or you will for sure become an addict of those tasty puffs. My neighbors have become addicted to those puffs and also to the Chili Cheese flavored almonds. They need a regular fix of those just to go on living. Ooops! That's a fib.

:-)

actonbell said...

I don't get it, Tom:) And I agree, your update is marvelous, Doug.

It's such a cute word, so much cuter than crock, for instance.

Karen said...

a journalistic embellishment.

Mo'a said...

I never Fib and that is the end of that discussion.

quilly said...

Never spoil a good story for the sake of truth.

Did you pick the verifiers? Mine is litelyin which is just too fitting!

cooper said...

You definition is so good, putting fibbing in such a bad light, it makes one aspire to go for the Watergate.

Ariel the Thief said...

"A lie lacking ambition." - LOL it is perfect!

Yeah, Tom, I didn't get it, either. :-P

Doug said...

And it counts, TLP.

Nessa, an honest woman limits herself to fibs.

Good example, Icy. Thank you for tolerating it daily.

Pia, give a dog a bone.

JD, a coronary is a bitter reward for a sweet life. I look forward to your next visit with or without caramel puffs.

Actonbell, crock is more popular in my family than fib, and far more than truth.

Karen, not much of one.

I trust you, Mo'a. Your jolasveinar, less so. I think sausage stealer ate my bacon.

Quilly, that's wonderful and most anyone else would have missed it.

Cooper, you're halfway there.

Ariel, emoticons are punctuation for fibs.

weirsdo said...

For some reason, this word reminds me of "bib": a dribble of untruth.