Monday, June 08, 2009

Trichinosis

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
Moses Mendlessohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need and immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day."

"Pork?" shrieked the patient — "pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!"

"Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked.

"I swear it!"

"Good! — then I will undertake to cure you."
2009 Update: A former restraint on the chef's art that required specific foods to be examined carefully for thorough of the cooking.  Trichinosis no longer constrains the Western diet as few foods remain specific, even upon examination. The worm is no longer in our meal but in our selves.

14 comments:

Jim said...

Trichinosis--"Cook it good," Mom used to say when we were to have pork for dinner. That advice still applies for all food that once breathed.
[I guess the rest are still sleeping or got up late and had to hurry off to 'someplace'--so I'll be first here.)
..

quilly said...

Bad word choice for this day when I feel like I am dying, and have even considered moving my desk and computer into the bathroom to save running back and forth.

Anonymous said...

like the smell of bacon in the morning--blending with the fresh
brewed coffee.Peace

TLP said...

Eww...worms. Yuk.

But, please do pass the bacon to me. And the ham and beans of course.

Does Gretchen have to deal with these worms I wonder?

Nessa said...

Worms deserve to live, too.

Hobbes said...

Perhaps the worm will turn with the stomach.

karen said...

Trichinosis, n. An intestinal parasite caused by underfunded swine odor management in Iowa.

Doug said...

Or sick with Gastroenteritis, Jim. Could be that.

Sorry, Quilly. Feel better and stay away from luaus for awhile.

Smells like...napalm.

Great point, TLP. Future plot point, maybe.

"Crows gotta eat, same as worms" -Josey Wales.

Hobbes, no doubt.

Haha, Karen. As a former Iowa farmhand, I can tell you bad swine odor management maims but doesn't kill.

Tom & Icy said...

Worm in the ingredients like devil in the details

The Old Mule said...

Trichinosis: a swine in drag.

The Old Mule said...

"a" swine? I mean swine...it's the lead in the water.

happy monday!

sauerkraut said...

Tricky?

No, sis. Those are just the dust bunnies under your bed preparing to attack.

Doug said...

Or like the terrier in the recycling bin, Ice.

You too, brother Mule. Even wacky it's good to see you back.

Sauerkraut, did Quilly's spirit leave her body and enter through your nose?

Cooper said...

Why people eat that stuff is something I will never understand.