Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Elope
ELOPE, v.i. To exchange the perils and inconveniences of a fixed residence for the security and comfort of travel.
2010 Update: To forsake tradition for the sake of ritual in a marriage alliance.
ELOPE, n. To subtract from the normal travails of matrimony the meddlesome attentions of relations, and the burdens of an inheritance. The refutation of a melon.
I eloped once. We went to Iowa with forged birth certificates. For the license we found a witness off the street who 'had known us for years.' That marriage lasted thirteen years! Neither of us went to prison, or jail for that matter. Our marriage 'was the best of times and the worst of times.' ..
My comment eloped with Nessa. I am going to go sit in the corner and pout. Maybe while I am there I'll come up with something else clever, but I doubt it.
18 comments:
OR for the sake of quietude.
ELOPE, n. To subtract from the normal travails of matrimony the meddlesome attentions of relations, and the burdens of an inheritance. The refutation of a melon.
I eloped once. We went to Iowa with forged birth certificates. For the license we found a witness off the street who 'had known us for years.' That marriage lasted thirteen years! Neither of us went to prison, or jail for that matter.
Our marriage 'was the best of times and the worst of times.'
..
Hello Mrs. Jim. Where's you're better half this fine morning?
Elope: I'd say the entire nonsense is overrated.
ELOPE, v. Something I will thankfully nevervdo
Why can't I lope; because you are fruity to elope. Just bring a ladder.
e-lope: electronic cantering.
elope: Not in a Bridzilla's vocabulary.
No! Doug! You didn't!!!! I wanted to dance at your wedding.
Elope: A mother's worst fear.
TLP, my worst fear is the wedding my mother has in her mind for me. :-P
My comment eloped with Nessa. I am going to go sit in the corner and pout. Maybe while I am there I'll come up with something else clever, but I doubt it.
It won't last though, Quilly.
now it's my turn to say that your definition makes me laughx
Elope, used to be a quick trip to Vegas now it requires elopement announcements, and post elopement receptions.
You didn't elope did you Doug?
O.k. Doug, so Meg Whitman spent $70 million. The show-off failure (eBay's ex-C.E.O) is definitely a flunky.
But then again how much $$ will ex-Gov. Moon Beam [Linda (poor poor pitiful me's ex-boyfriend)] have yesterday?
O.k. So Carly F. spent, like, $4 million. I hope she's not thinking about saving any money to run against B. Boxer.
Even Calif's moronic Gov. Schw. couldn't figure out how to vote! I mean really. Voting twice on the same ballot?
Oops. I hope that wasn't an election results spoiler. Cable news reported all the winning moments (moments ago) here on the EST.
**~~scribble~~**
And I'm sure you didn't even NOTICE that Blanche Lincoln won in Arkansas even though moveon.org was behind her opponent.
More ironic still, Ariel. We think our families are noisy and irritating because we don't have spouses.
Amoeba, I say "I do" to melon.
Jim, I may have failed to fully appreciate your shadiness.
Karen, which better half?
Terry, I suspect as much.
Thom, never say never. Say canteloupe.
Nessa, that's weird because I have the sense brides have a lot of vocabulary.
Karen, we interrupt your nap?
TLP, having you dance at my wedding would almost make it all worthwhile. Be sure and take some video so I can watch.
Great answer, Ariel. I understand.
Quilly, there's no shame in repetition. Except for puns.
Nessa, that's funny.
Funny, Actonbell. (I think I can resist the earworm, though.)
I'm glad, Pia.
Nope, Cooper. I tried but nobody showed up.
Thanks, Karen. I didn't get near enough of politics yesterday.
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