Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Ethnology, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

2005 Update: A canon serving atheists in place of religion, to assure of moral superiority and the perdition awaiting the unfaithful.

Announcement: Asiansmiles is co-moderating an online debate: "Does God Exist," described as a Critical Thinking Event. A dedicated atheist and a devout evangelical Christian will debate between now and Christmas. The format includes message boards on which the debaters will post their arguments and rebuttals, a space for the judges and moderators, and a "peanut gallery" where all are welcome to contribute. It'll be nice to have this settled before Lent.

Asiansmiles was kind enough to invite me to judge so we can be pretty sure there will be points for flippancy even though there aren't supposed to be.

You may join the conversation either here (theist site) or here (atheist site).

Look for the welcome message from the Moderators. Actonbell, you know you want to.


"ME" Liz Strauss said...

A study of the lack of those that pushes unfeeling men (because there are no such women) to lose their pathos and work on the premise that only logos will carry the day, proving in and of itself that their logos too is flawed and they are doomed to spend the rest of their undead lives reading Liz's whimsical writings as it grates upon their ears like fingernails on a chalkboard; cynicsm taken to an artform in the guise of reverse humanity :)

dddragon said...

Nah, nah, I'm here first.

(doesn't mean that I have anything meaningful to say ...)

I wonder how Unitarians fit in there?

Minka said...

No 3D, you are second and I am third, but at leats we get a spot on the podium and a medal :)

Doug The Una said...

Liz, it's not for the advancement of human knowledge and the reconciliation of every one to their neighbor? That's why I listen to the grating of your fingernails on the chalkboard.

Dddragon, I deleted See Unitarian at the last minute. You'll see why when we get to Bierce's definition.

Monika, I'm singing the European Anthem as you take the podium. "Freude, schöne Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium..."

Minka said...

And I step on thepodium with the words:

´Ich betrete vollbetrunken,
Himmlische Dein Kneipentum´.

Sorry, still under the influence of your last entry ;)

Sar said...

Excellent definition, Doug! I'm with Monika, still recovering from yesterday. That last round of bubbly with Karma did me in. But here goes...

Ethnology: The mirror reflecting the beauty in diversity.

Miz BoheMia said...

Ethnology: A field where human mutts are a nuisance to the neat categorizations and concise definitions of their human non-mutt counterparts.

What is an Iranian-Danish bohemian raised between Spain and the US to do?

Unknown said...

OK so i'm 5th. do i get a consolation prize? or at least a small tohfa? in my ethnological language, that means 'gift' (i promise it is not a swear word)

aygkrrqx: yes, General Knowledge runs rampant but i quite keep my mouth shut

Unknown said...

OK so i'm 6th. Miz B beat me. i should learnm to type faster.

should we continue the party, Sar?

Anonymous said...

I'm just going to wait, a long time I hope, and see if Doug's definition comes through.

Though I like Sar's because it's both good and I understand it!

Doug The Una said...

Volbetrunken, huh, Monika?

Thanks, Sar. That isn't a very cynical definition. Get thee behind me, ANGLO-AMERICAN!

MizBohemia, I was kind of waiting for your perspective. Try San Francisco.

That's what you said about Behn C**d, Karma. You get a prize for 7th.

Pia, my kind are always doing stuff like that.

Sar said...

Sorry Doug, but even this Anglo-American chick of German & Irish descent can't be cynical all the time! Besides, Pia liked my definition, so there! :P

Karm - Oui oui! I'm in an especially French-friendly mood today, so let's have crepes instead of pancakes. We can divide the strawberries between the crepes & the champagne too!

"ME" Liz Strauss said...

Ethnology the study of our difference so that we have something to keep us apart rather than something interesting to celebrate and learn about.

Okay I'm feeling less contrary. I've finished my Zen vacation piece for today. So everyone around me is nicer. :)

Cooper said...

Ok you are breaking my heart here. Exceopt Sar she wins.

Ethnology: A science which all should study starting at age six in order to assure that everyone knows we are not alone, not the be all or end all, that every body comes from somwhere and every one has a history, and that their history is just as important if not more so than ours.

Doug The Una said...

You win, Sar, it's flowers n' hippy day.

Liz your shadow is my sunny day.

Alice, who is the assumed we in that sentence? If "early-onset curmedgeon" is an ethnicity or tribe I'll be glad to serve as your priest, chieftan. (Confession: I minored in African Studies)

Minka said...

I think we should change the study of ethnology for the study of symbiosis. I mean the animal kingdom proves so amazingly that different parasites, plants or animals can live with each other and profit from their differences. We humans should be able to do that to and in a way...blogging is a good example of a well functioning human symbiosis!
We all are fairly different, yet each and everyone of us can contribute to this host Amazing Ambrose and create something that is so essential for our every-day enjoyment.

dddragon said...

How did that happen? When I looked at it after I posted my comment, there wasn't anyone else before me! *in a huff*

And I STILL don't have anything to say.

Semisweet1 said...

Bierce was very funny today, and you were cutting and cynical. Imagine, belittling those poor atheists. Aren't they in enough trouble as it is?

Doug The Una said...

Monika, since it's Flowers n' Hippies day, I have to agree. The best part of doing this site is what happens after I hit publish and all this great stuff comes in from all over the world. You guys are amazing.

Haha, Dddragon. Liz is probably just quicker with the verifier. I remember you were first when the word was "Ego." That's the day to come first on.

Yeah, S. That's one of my favorites. I'd been saving it.

Sar said...

There, there Dddragon.

There's plenty of love beads and champagne to go around for everyone. Can't you just feel the love?

Have I successfully gotten under your skin yet, Doug? ;)

Jamie Dawn said...

Ethnologists are the people that study what makes it possible for movies like "My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding" to exist.

Semisweet1 said...

On the money, Jamie Dawn.

Logophile said...

Would simplify things if you people had a kennel club like registry for purebreds....what, you have a problem with that idea?

And don't forget to spay or neuter the strays!

ninjapoodles said...

OK, not *quite* on-topic, but not quite off: My husband is adopted, so has no clue of what lies "behind" him, as we say regarding horse/dog pedigrees.

And I myself am indeed a "mutt", although a maternal uncle who is a geneaologist has traced one branch of the family quite far back--the Dickens line goes all the way to the author, Charles Dickens, who was a favorite of mine my whole life. (Just so this doesn't sound too boastful, letters from C.D. were found wherein he described visiting with his American cousins--my ancestors--some adjectives I remember are "barbarian," "boorish," "primitive," and "uncouth." Yup, that's us!!)

Anyway, back to the point. I enrolled Alex and myself in National Geographic's "Genographic" project. We give them DNA samples (cheek swabs), they tell us where we're from...back to the beginning. And it helps them with their worldwide DNA mapping project. It's completely confidential, no names, and I can't wait for the results!

Doug The Una said...

Sar, not yet. When you hear of me burning flowers and love beads in the toilet, you'll know.

Jamie Dawn, I agree with Semisweet.

S, is your earlier question answered?

Ariella, I'm not sure I like the implication.

Belinda, that's really interesting. Thanks. I can't get over the irony of Charles Dickens describing people that way. God bless us, everyone!

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm really hoping that God shows up to that debate and settles the argument once and for all. In the Old Testament, he appeared in various forms (burning bush, cloud by day and fire by night, etc...). I'd settle for a booming voice from the sky along with some unexplainable cosmic rearrangements, like adding a couple of more moons around Earth. I don't think he will do this, but it would sure be cool!

Anonymous said...

My ancestor (Scotch-Irish, I believe) made a special trip to see Dickens' boat and spit tobacco juice at it because he was so outraged at the name-calling.

Semisweet1 said...

If you're asking about those poor atheists, the answer is no, not yet. If your question is "do you know her?", the answer, of course, is yes.

Fred said...

As usual, I'm late to the party with very little to add. Being an introvert is a pain in the neck.

Maybe I should take an ethnology class too see if there's something wrong with me.

Doug The Una said...

See, Jamie Dawn, that's just heat lightening.

So, you've been canatakerous a few generations back, huh Weirsdo?

Mañon Rheume?

Thanks, Actonbell. It looks like fun.

No need, Fred.

Unknown said...

why is everyone arguing about me on Asiansmiles' site?

i exist, therefore i am here

xgmkzcie: the base tribe i created from where all of you originated, which had a penchant for strawberries


Does Lemmy (peace be upon him) know about this debate you're having, Doug?


TLP said...

Ethnology sounds like a religion with no political power to me.

Is there anything left to eat? I know I'm late....

The strawberries sounded good.

Doug The Una said...

Well, Karma, head over there. Maybe they can wrap stuff up early and no-one will have to find out how completely unqualified one of the judges is.

Gabriel, I get a blank link. Why don't you let him know.

It does sound that way, huh, TLP? I'll fix you something. You like yellow cake or chocolate?

TLP said...

LOL. Very funny Doug. I'll take chocolate.

dddragon said...

I can assure you that the atheists don't think that THEY'RE the ones in trouble. Besides, most of them are having fun belittling the rest of ethnology.

I've got some chocolate here, mom, along with marshmallows ... I'm saving it for you. No strawberries, tho'

Unknown said...

D, now that you live in my kitchen, make me a real meal. strawberry shortcake will be fine ... will share with TLP

Anonymous said...

You already know about my great-grandfather telling Cousin Alexander Graham Bell that if he wanted to talk to someone in the next room he'd open the door and shout.
Did I tell you about the Smith ancestor who rode the bull around Smithtown? The Indians gave him as much land as he could ride a bull around from sun-up to sundown. He must have been pretty cantankerous too.

TLP said...

Thanks for sharing Karma! And 3D, I'll take it. I'm trying not to gain any weight over the holidays, but tomorrow is a free day.

And it's almost tomorrow.

Doug The Una said...

TLP, chocolate it is.

Self-righteous, aren't they, Dddragon?

Karma, that's fair. I guess your hair gets enough fiber.

Nope, Weirsdo. I should have known you were of pioneer stock. Explains your sympathy for the displaced.

Really near. And the answer is yes to the Beatles' question.

Cooper said...

I was thinking about an African Studies minor as well.. still might but with two majors it will take some maneuvering.

I just thought I'd come back and see if tomorrow’s word was posted yet so I could be the first one but I forget about the time difference.

I wait for the word but I'm dead tired and just can't do it.

Doug The Una said...

Alice, sleep perchance to dream. I'm 7 hours from posting it.

dddragon said...

*tapping foot*

okay, where is the new word of the day?