Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Glutton, n. A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.
Lula took my definition and made it so non-gluttonese that it flew through my mind
Should I bite Lula for you Doug?
Yes, Lula, that would be an impressive appetite.
Pia, don't encourage her!
It's OK, Icy. Oral hygiene is important.
Brushing our teeth is important, right TLP?
Glutton, n. a person who's body lives in mortal fear.
I had a heck of a farm subsidy program going on at the house yesterday. I thank whomever funded it because I ate 'til I was truly stuffed. In another few hours, I'm ready to do it all over again for lunch. Yum!
Icy! Bad dog!!! Don't forget flossing!
Yes, Ariel, but a good kind of terror.
Brother Fred, I hear you. I used to work near a turkey farm outside West Liberty, Iowa. I bet after yesterday there's a new pick-up parked in front of the Downtowner meat n' three.
*tapping foot* i'm all girl Doug. and i'll have all of you. but i'd spit out the teeth
Glutton: My bottomless dog at Thanksgiving in the kitchen eating everything that "falls" onto the floor.
Bunch of cannibals here today! Reminds me of the notoriously cannibalistic glutton Hannibal Lecter's famous line, "I'm having an old friend for dinner".
Whoa! Whole lotta overeatin' goin' on here today.
Lula: Bad girl. Icy: Good girl. Lula, take a lesson. Tom: yes, brush those teeth!
Well, once again I see it's all been said. Pass the Prilosec, please. xoxo
glutton (n) - See me. Chomp...chomp...drool...smack...urp!
Haha, Karma, do you mind keeping them in a jar for my mama?
Macnhego, you should see my kitchen right now. Two dishes in the dishwasher, one in the sink and about a dozen on the floor. The latter are the clean ones.
I'm telling you, Sar. The selection's easy when you're on the menu.
Great definition, TLP and thanks for doing your matriarchal scolding this morning.
Just one, Mireille.
Poobah, how does the wishbone work when you're first person plural?
Glutton: what I definitely was yesterday as I kept having ONE MORE bite of turkey and stuffing, knowing that the pies would soon be making their appearence ...
And I'm waiting for the leftovers to warm up, even as I type. YUM
I wouldn't EAT you up, Doug. Surely there are ... uh, nevermind.
One who engages in one of the deadly sins, gluttony. Best when immediately followed with sloth.
Hope you all practiced well, only a month till we do it again!
Dddragon, et tu? I laughed at my gluttony yesterday. My niece was trying to start up a game of Duck, Duck, Goose and I was telling my brother that I wished she'd wait because I was stuffed! and then put another forkfull of greenbean casserole in my greasy maw.
Thanks, Ariella. I think I kept away from envy yesterday but it was a near thing.
Actonbell, who's "we?" You got a mouse in your pocket? Happy day.
Oh, Sar! I didn't mean to leave you out. Can you tell me what a fava bean is?
glutton-eyeing the dessert table while piling on the second helpings. Usually not a wise idea when you still have hours left of work and you're already tired.
Sar, pass the salt, please
banmg: nuke my goose
I'm not sure, Masil. Napping makes the time fly pretty fast.
Actonbell, only you can make being a reprobate sound so refined and worth aspiring to.
Karma, I'm sure Sar will be happy to share.
Or me!!!! I am a glutton for punishmant!!!!!! Cuz I am going to forgive you ONE LAST TIME, Mr. Dog!!!!!!!! But you shouldent let that tramp lulu throw her self at you like that!!!!!!!!!!!
Daisy??? What did I say to Daisy? Don't worry about Lula. Let's just say she might be a little, well, accident prone.
Mr. Dog!!!! Are you a freind of Mr. Banana???? I dint no!!!
What I ment about Daisy is, she's a GLUTTON!!!!! You can see how FAT she is!!!!!
pansi, thank you for the laughter, it almost blew my head off! (Daisy is fat but isn't she pretty? sweet little cow.)
Oh, Pansi, I see. She should stop! Gluttony is a Sin! Doesn't she want to see Dusty in heaven?!?!?!?!
Ariel, please don't laugh at Pansi. She's sensitive and I'm very protective of her!!!
Glutton: Me, myself, and I.
We are still at my in-laws. The eating continues, but not quite as rabidly. We leave here on Sunday, and hopefully we will be able to button our jeans.
Make that we, Jamie Dawn.
I wasn't laughing at Pansi! I was laughing WITH Pansi! well, someone was laughing, that's for sure... can we talk it over at a coco-pie, Doug?
We usually just swallow the entire turkey whole, which gets you past that troublesome wishbone. But the best thing is that since we are omnipotent, we can Heimlich ourselves is need be.
I have to admit that I am not quite sure what that means...so now I will think about it and think about it...hmmmmm....
well we have got to have something to think about.
Of course, Ariel. I'll bring the coffee.
Must be nice, Poobah. Wish I had your metabolism.
Hi, Spirit Dancer! Yes, or you can fake it like I do.
I am NOT a COW!!!!!! I do not want to see DIRTY ever again!!!!! And gluttony doesn't count if you purge!!!!!
But at least I don't have to worry about seeing Pansi!!! You should just forget about your so-called "date," Mr. Dog!!! Pansi will be able to have a "hot" time with Dirty, maybe!!!!!
Good grief, Daisy. You plastic dolls are almost as difficult as regular women.
Glutton: A possibility made available to the masses through fast food supersizing.
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