Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
PUNCTUALITY, n. A virtue which seems to be abnormally developed in creditors.
2006 Update: The virtue by which an American partygoer finds their Peruvian host in a bathrobe.
Gasp! I am first!
I am so punctual!
I was very nearly punctual!
That definition sounds like a story waiting to be told, Doug.
I was punctual this morning. You, however, were on Peruvian time apparently.
I like your definition and AP3's is very witty.
I guess I need more coffee in order to try to define this myself. I didn't even know that it needed to be defined. I thought it was just the natural order of things.
verifier: whtnxt -- What next? too easy.
Nah. Got nothin'.
Doug, liked yours, but AP3's was hysterical. I agree with TLP about needing more coffee...
dead people are never punctual, that's why they're referred to as 'late'
I guess that my Bookworm must be Peruvian ...
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. (Thomas De Quincey)
Lesson? Be Punctual.
But of course, I'm an Oscar Wilde fan too. And he said that punctuality is a thief of time.
Doug, your definition covers everything I might have wanted to say of the matter. very funny.
punctuality is the hobgoblin....
no wait, thats not it.. I'll be back, after coffee
Jenna, right on time.
You're right, Logo. I learned a good lesson about culture and time when I was invited to a party in Lima and, not wanting to be disrespectful rushed to arrive at the time I was invited. The rest can be inferred. The sad part is, that was one pretty Peruana. Really looked good in a bathrobe and a glare.
Yup, TLP. I had my siesta early today.
Well, Poobah, it's grand to see your omnipotent self anyhow.
Yeah, Cowgirl. That was a comment Aral left on another blog probably six months ago. I still laugh at it from time to time.
I don't know Karma. I see them as early risers.
She just may be, Dddragon. I'm guessing Goa'ulds as American as apple pie.
Two great quotes, TLP. You know, Bierce detested Wilde when Wilde visited San Francisco. I guess it's hard to fit two huge brains in a city. That's why I live in Santa Clarita. We have a vacancy.
Ariel, is there Magyar Time?
OK, Village Idiot. We'll wait.
we expect guesses to arrive at the time they said they would arrive, not later and not earlier, either, unless we want them to see us in robe and glare. they can help in the kitchen, though.
Idiot, isn't that "Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin..."
ooooh, running a little behind are we?
Doug, did you ask to borrow her towel?
Logo: I shall respond....in time
I'm not punctual today, late to the party. Obviously I need more coffee too cause I just don't get the virginity/punctuality connection *scratches head*
I'll go grab a coffee and come back to see if some kind soul has put it in simple words for this idiot.
(I think we determined last week that if I'm the same wavelength as the Village Idiot then I must be one too!)
Kudos to Karma! I like that definition.
Since I'm a stickler about being on time, I do not like the idea of being referred to as the "late" Jamie Dawn.
After I'm dead, I'd rather be referred to as the "very punctual, but now very dead" Jamie Dawn.
Songs sung at my funeral will be:
Get Me to the Church On Time
People Get Ready Jesus is Coming!
ok Doug, I've had some coffee and taken Casper for a walk. The blood is moving. I still need help with the definition. All I can think of are really crude things which I'm sure the exhalted company at Waking Ambrose would never be thinking...right?
Maybe I really am an idiot.
well, I'm off shopping so I'll have to check later :-)
Hey now...whats wrong with idiocy..
punctuality,n: The seeming innate ability of the in-laws to arrive at exactly the wrong moment.
foupcz -- some odd little north african hat?
Golly good gosh, Doug, we have a good time playing trivia games, wanna join us? mwah hah hah
word veri~ xpire
speaks for itself, hm?
Doug~ second place two weeks running! You are no loser, my friend.
So what is your stance on the matter, born into total idiocy?
Doug, Goa'uld IS the apple pie!
Having a mutual orgasm is punctuality.
something i pride myself on but have little of. im not sure how that works but i always seem to be late for class but on time for dinner, especially if someone else is paying.
Well when I first got here at 7:15, there was only one guest and in much less than a bathrobe, I might add. I figured I must have arrived early, so I left.
PUNCTUALITY, n. The starting point for taking minutes and losing hours. The surest measure of the pointlessness of the meeting. The just desserts of the soul that self-destructs to be on time for the delivery that isn't. [grr]
You're right, Logophile. Y'all jump back.
Dddragon, I don't doubt it. An early riser.
Thanks, Lammy. I wondered what those were for.
Rio, maybe if you went to dinner with your professors?
Squaregirl, a second guest reduces the awkwardness, in my experience. Should have hung around.
O Ceallaigh, a great definition. I have that problem. I even have the problem of rushing to meetings with people who are dependably late.
’cause he gets up in the morning,
And he goes to work at nine,
And he comes back home at five-thirty,
Gets the same train every time.
’cause his world is built ’round punctuality,
It never fails.
And he’s oh, so good,
And he’s oh, so fine,
And he’s oh, so healthy,
In his body and his mind.
He’s a well respected man about town,
Doing the best things so conservatively.
Sorry... I am so late... I obviously have no clue what punctuality is... I'm never NEVER punctual...
Punctuality... definitely not a virtue of bohemians in the blogosphere... it's Spain getting to me... damn you to He... wait, can we say hell? *GASP*
*Delicate-and-oh-so-feminine-hands over mouth* OOOPS!
PS~ The insult was to Spain. Bohemians are good at clarifying fuzzy messages. One virtuous act for me! Wooohooo! But still no punctuality... *sigh*
shayna ... that's so ... kinky ...
Oh, Shayna, that takes me back.
Miz B, whenever you get here is right the heck on time.
O Ceallaigh, well placed.
You have devastated my world with that word it gives me a vision of the first person to get to a party walking in the door dancing like a fool
Shayna should have finished that old song I like it..
I agree with Coop about Shayna finishing the song.
O Ceallaigh - Shayna...kinky? *gasp* ;)
There was kinkiness and I missed it? Dang! If only I had been here earlier.
the boat has an uncanny habit of taking off just as i'm about to step on it. damn!
[thanks Ariel, Jamie :))
gknfu: a small Chinese fishing trawler
Punctual, adj. The highest of all virtues, in Germany.
I am not punctual today... na ja.
I'm a punctual girl, too. ;-)
"Virginity is the new punctuality" -- hey, how about that! I love it! When did I ever come up with something so clever?
Cooper, I promise you I do many things the fool's way but dancing is rarely one. I find when I have a bad image, mouthwash over the eyeballs can help.
Cowgirl, it's a song by the Kinks. They're before your time if you're lucky.
TLP, you practically inspired it.
Yup, Actonbell, including my 6:00 visit from your refinedness.
Karma, never be late for gknfu
Doch, Aral! That was a comment you left on your Sybil's blog about virginity. It was a keeper. If you hadn't got all jumpy and deleted the old posts, I meant to find it for you.
Right on time, Star Firstbaseman.
Hold off on setting your clock. I'll try and keep breathing for awhile longer.
Congratulations Doug! With this post you're my inspirational blogger this week!
Your lack of punctuality was quite a surprise I must say.
In the North, a virtue.
Down here, a peculiarity.
Good to hear, Jamie Dawn. I hate knowing what time it is, anyhow.
Sar, I'm honored and touched. Surprised the sand out of me to wake up and see "6:00"
You know, Weirsdo. I've travelled a lot and lived in a lot of places. It turns out people who think 7 means 7 are confined to a narrow band of the Northern United States and Germany. And almost all have blue eyes.
Being in the finance industry, I find this definition rather hilarious. So true.
Doug~ Perhaps that explains my somewhat punctual nature, I have blue-green eyes, perhaps it depends on whether my shirt is bringing out the blue or green that particular day.
After living in Italy we went to Germany for several days. In addition to having a very odd accent we also had the darnest time remembering 7 MEANS 7!!
I don't know that old song but I can pretty much imagine it goes on singing about his being the happy man at home, putting on a pretty dress, and his wife putting on a suit, and many would be envy of their happy and satisfying marriage. (Mr. Vonnegut knows so much of life.)
Lammy, I knew a guy, at one time when he was with his girlfriend for 15 or 20 minutes, he finally came but the girl didn't, and when she told him so, he said, 'And what I am supposed to do to that? You had just as much time as me.' I guess he meant she should have been punctual.
Well, Doug, I'm glad your memory is so good. I vaguely remember writing it now on Soapy's blog, but I would've forgotten it forever had you not "saved" it.
Mistress Anna, I'd wager Bierce had met a few of you folks.
Logophile, you really should commit to either blue or green. Some love timely, some favor tardy but unreliable is no-one's friend.
Ariel, Mr. Vonnegut is a wise man and growing more bitter by the second, God bless him. And sage advice you gave Lammy.
Aral, it's not my memory but a great line. I'd have it up on my desk if it weren't for the meddlesome Department of Labor.
It turns out people who think 7 means 7 are confined to a narrow band of the Northern United States and Germany.
Reminds me of how John F. Kennedy once (supposedly) described Washington DC:
(Actually he supposedly said "efficiency" instead of "punctuality", but you get my drift.)
I hope none here are trusting their punctuality to the time stamp on this comment box today. What the ...?
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