Dramatist

DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French.

2006 Update: Every child sixteen and under or over, forsooth and lo!

Announcement: I bet you noticed the new button in my sidebar that looks like this: . You know you want one too. I'm here to tell you about an opportunity you simply can't afford to pass by. Goa'uld, daughter of Dddragon, is writing, producing, directing and cinematographing a flash animation called The Revenge of The Geek. She is auditioning voice actors and the reward, beyond the chance to do something meaningful while you yet draw breath, ah the reward- this button. Click on it and follow the instructions to get your own. Thank you for your cooperation. By the way, anyone who beats me out for the Darth Vader gig gets a light saber where the sun normally wouldn't shine. Just sayin'

Fairy

FAIRY, n. A creature, variously fashioned and endowed, that formerly inhabited the meadows and forests. It was nocturnal in its habits, and somewhat addicted to dancing and the theft of children. The fairies are now believed by naturalist to be extinct, though a clergyman of the Church of England saw three near Colchester as lately as 1855, while passing through a park after dining with the lord of the manor. The sight greatly staggered him, and he was so affected that his account of it was incoherent. In the year 1807 a troop of fairies visited a wood near Aix and carried off the daughter of a peasant, who had been seen to enter it with a bundle of clothing. The son of a wealthy bourgeois disappeared about the same time, but afterward returned. He had seen the abduction been in pursuit of the fairies. Justinian Gaux, a writer of the fourteenth century, avers that so great is the fairies' power of transformation that he saw one change itself into two opposing armies and fight a battle with great slaughter, and that the next day, after it had resumed its original shape and gone away, there were seven hundred bodies of the slain which the villagers had to bury. He does not say if any of the wounded recovered. In the time of Henry III, of England, a law was made which prescribed the death penalty for "Kyllynge, wowndynge, or mamynge" a fairy, and it was universally respected.

2006 Update: A swing voter.

Everyone, Minka's leaving for awhile so let's wish her a good trip after she get's the first comment Schöne und sichere reise, Eiskönigin!

Special Guest Species

This week, I'm itching to announce my Felis Domesticus "friend," Chatham aka Mahtahc Tom Cat Pez

Chatham was asked to define Catnip.

CATNIP, n. The most beloved of all things green by felines, Great and Small. Used in all forms: consumed fresh off the plant, dried and sprinkled into food, distilled into liquor, rolled and smoked. Most cats cannot wait for catnip to be harvested, tearing apart a plant in a drunken frenzy. Therefore "Beans" (as humans are called by the cat community) are necessary for its distribution.

Most cats are embarressed by their catnip-induced behavior, and only partake of it in the company of other cats. As with drunk Beans, there are "happy" catnipped cats and "mean" catnipped" cats. Any Bean who lets one of the latter have some catnip deserves all the scratches he or she receives.

About Chatham: Chatham is the fifth Pez to grace this site as a Wednesday guest. Chatham, august elder of the first family of the internet (in cat years or lives,) writes the epodious Chat Cat Chats. Chatham fills his site with deep emotional expression for which cats are well-known and greatly appreciated. Frequent features of his site include short anecdotes accompanying photographs which demonstrate Chatham's talent for the visual arts. An influential connoisseur of fine things, Chatham's lap reviews have placed Tan Lucy Pez and Dddragon in the Zagat Cat Couch Survey, each with four-star ratings while Aunt Actonbell received no stars and no encouragement.

Although Chatham primarily writes a blog for the cat who has everything (or, cat) he is not entirely aloof. Long time readers wept at his tales of catheterization and applauded his triumphs over illness, hunger and insomnia. Chatham lives with his mother, Dddragon, father Nod, twin sisters Goa'uld and Bookworm and his brother, Salem.

About the Pezes: The first family of the blogosphere and certainly of this site, the Pezes have a long and proud tradition here at Waking Ambrose and have been a rich source of Wednesday guests with a notable exception or two. Since many current readers weren't around during the early guest posts, here are some links to previous Pez Guest appearances.

From last August, Aral Peppermint Patty Pez (AP3)
Also from last August, Dddragon
From September of last year, Goa'uld, Dddragon's daughter.
From October, Little Bar of Soap who was later revealed to be the product of AP3's shaky mental health.
And, finally, from January, Tan Lucy Pez, Dddragon and AP3's mother, Chatham and Goa'uld's grandmother.

Bookworm, Salem and Actonbell are also bloggers but flintier.

And happy birthday to the world's oldest living Pascover! Best to you, Dad! Who says dinosaurs no longer roam the Earth?
How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Just one more note, there is no-one for next week and rather than being whiney again, if there are no volunteers I may just skip the guest post until there are. It's an extra definition for me to write, but you guys are worth it.

Abduction

ABDUCTION, n. In law, a crime; in morals, a punishment.

2006 Update: A form of theft more egregious than mugging and less painful to the victim than fraud. An in vivo trademark violation.

Quotation

QUOTATION, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.

Intent on making his quotation truer,
He sought the page infallible of Brewer,
Then made a solemn vow that he would be
Condemned eternally. Ah, me, ah, me!
Stumpo Gaker

2006 Update: The elevation of another fool's wisdom to greater depth. According to Ambrose Bierce, "The act of errogenously repeating the words of another or the words so echoed."

The Old Gringo

Story #50, In which Ambrose Bierce reaches his destination.

To hear the story, talk to the skull.



To read the story, blow out the candle.


Happy 164th birthday to Ambrose Bierce.

To celebrate, here are two new Bierce-related links:

Did you all know Bierce wrote fables? I didn't until Indie mentioned it sometime back. Here's a Collection.
and, The Devil's Dictionary Defiled, by S.R. Brubaker. Brubaker's site is a well-designed and funny page including definitions by Bierce and Brubaker.


This week in The Prattler, Unheard Of, the challenge to the Voting Rights Act.

Aversion

AVERSION, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

2006 Update: The child of desire and conquest, failure's half-brother and father to conquest and desire.

Intractable

INTRACTABLE, adj. Stubbornly unwilling to adopt a course from which nothing can divert ourselves.

2006 Update: Attractive.

Answer key to yesterday: TLP found three of the quotes, Minka one, Puppytoes one. Village Idiot was able to name two of his and two of mine which leaves him a total of zero jester's bells. The others were "Like worms on an apple getting ready to jump off," which is a line from the film Brother John with Sidney Poitier and "The use of unnecessary violence in apprehending the Blues Brothers has been approved."

And a wedgie goes to O Ceallaigh who incorrectly corrected me. Unless I'm incorrectly correcting him. PhD in Biology, indeed! You're a Governor, aren't you, O Ceallaigh?

Special Alternative Idiot

This week, I'm delighted to offer The Village Idiot as my guest. The idiot was asked to define the word Beanie.

BEANIE, n. a small skullcap; formerly worn by schoolboys and college freshmen

BEANIE, n. A small sickeningly cute sidekick of a friendly sea monster named Cecil.
(Below)
BEANIE, n. A badge of honour among geeks the world over, the bigger the propeller, the mightier the geek...yes, size does matter.

syn propeller-head


I have spun my propeller against some formidible opponents in the past, I've been wounded by rapidly spinning blades (twas only a flesh wound) , and had to fend off many challengers who thought they had a bigger prop than mine.

In the end, Old Age and Treachery wins out over Youth and Enthusiasm every time.
Doug, while you may be in the early onset stages of curmudgeonism, this old and treacherous idiot has a large...if somewhat battle scarred... propeller and knows how to use it.

About The Village Idiot: It's not every fool who would challenge the author of this site for curmudgeon King. But a policeman's job is only easy in a police state. Well, there's no sense dwelling on our losses- use of unnecessary sarcasm in mocking the idiot has been approved.

The Idiot writes The Idiot's Paradise, as if any blog weren't, and cothieved So, We Hijacked a Blog with our own Logophile and Snavylyn, The Barefoot Mistress, Lime and Breazy. The idiot's site is a collection of anecdotes, top five music lists, quotes from movies, movie quotes, famous lines from film history and excerpts from scripts. Memorable phrases from cinema turn up in occasional quizes. Let's face it, The Village Idiot's memory is big. It's the pictures that got small. Somehow, V.I. (as he's known to friends who weary of restating the obvious) finds time to tell good stories well and write one of the most entertaining blogs around. A special post, in which we can hear V.I. tell a story in his spoken voice is here.


V.I. also deserves credit as one of the blogosphere's most prolific commenteers. On the sites of his friends, among whom I'm proud to count myself until further notice, he challenges with his encyclopedic memory for the aforementioned quotes as well as a broad knowledge of science and just enough understanding of statistics to be goofy. Like worms on an apple getting ready to jump off, V.I.s comments are a threat to every fruit on the blogging tree. He and I used to compete with Kyahgirl for the propeller beanie of ultimate nerddom until the award was retired by O Ceallaigh until every parabola closes for making a Ribonucleic Acid base pun. Thanks to Village Idiot for doing a great job as guest today and every day. Sometimes six or seven times. He may be a modern griffin with propellor-head, the personality of a slide-rule and a bicycle body, he may be a geek, a dork, a twerp and a wallflower with a weed's discretion, but the man plays well with others. Now, have fun storming the castle.

And friends, there are six film paraphrases contained in the bio and I found a couple in V.I.'s portion. Have fun with that.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

You don't have to be an idiot to work here, but it helps.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAR MIREILLE ZOCKSO!!

Appetite

APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

2006 Update: A hunger as towards weight-loss, wealth or whelp.

(Wrong freaky spaniard)

Regret

REGRET, n. The sediment in the cup of life.

2006 Update: v.t. To recall the beauty, the hope and the dreams of youth over a veggie-burger.

The Modern Mariner

Story #49, In which Doug detassels corn in the year of the floating hog.

To hear the story, jump up on the detasseling machine.






To read the story, come to the seed corn field (this one using a 2x6 male to female pattern)




This week in The Prattler, An Open Letter to Dennis Hastert A Note to soccer fans: Dennis Hastert is Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, the lower chamber of Congress

Oh, and Happy Independence Day to our Icelandic friends, Minka, Mo'a and, I think, Terry. Oh, and may three hours be glorious today for my 1/8 Icelandic Soul Sistah!

Trust

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

2006 Update: The first phase of betrayal.

Hermit

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

2006 Update: A sage whose ear and advice are fervently sought in matters of love and society.

The good and great, Kyahgirl and Puppytoes have started a social site, Central Snark. You all are invited to play with today's word here and spend long hours of warm companionship there before I hang myself.

And now a message from our sphynx: To explain the above and some recent abnormal abnormal behavior by our host, a few more words may be helpful or, at least, long.

Two things I have really enjoyed about this site. The first was finding a group of people who enjoyed coming here to play with wit and/or words. The second was having this site become a place where people came to see and share with friends they'd made online. My concern over the last couple months has been that the second development has been a danger to the first.

Longtime readers know that the cleverest, most apt definition is found on most days in the comments not the post. Those readers, if they arrive after around noon (California Hippy Time-CHT) may have to read through forty or more comments to find eight or nine which are on the topic among thirty that are mainly social. So as a moderator, I have been using sarcasm and hinting to try to balance the fun of wordplay with virtual philandery.

In an email discussion with Kyahgirl yesterday she generously offered Central Snark as a place where general bonhomie could take place without distracting from a topic. So I'd like to offer the following general guidelines:

To leave a definition, song lyric, poem, witticism, joke or rant inspired by the word of the day, I am delighted that you do so here.
To comment on a definition, song lyric, et cetera left by someone else, I am delighted that you do so here.
To respond to a comment made by myself or another reader on your contribution, I am delighted that you do so here.
To just say hi and maybe do something clever with your verifier, please do so here.

And

To fight, flirt, philander, meander, pontificate, elaborate, celebrate, socialize or otherwise carry on a conversation started here, I am delighted that you do so either on the site of the object of your fancy or at Central Snark where I can join you without the responsibility of moderation.

Let's see how that works.

It should be said that I am grateful for all of you who have joined the family here and have very much enjoyed both the intellectual and the social play here. My hope is only to insure that everyone continue to enjoy themselves in their own way. For the record, I'd much rather just accept a changed Waking Ambrose to turning on comment moderation or otherwise limiting conversation. I do hope to keep the two tracks from interfering with each other, perhaps by involving other sites in the dialogue.

No one will be asked to leave and no comments not left by spammers or psychopaths will be deleted. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. {/vainglorious yammering}

Special Guest Minx

This week, my guest is Evil Minx. Minxie was asked to define the verb, Explore.

The dictionary definition pf the word "Explore" is: To investigate systematically; examine: (example: explore every possibility)

How appropriate. For blogging, that is. It's all about the systematic investigation of you, or what you like to do, discuss, play, examine... And, if I'm serious for a moment -- and it will only be one, no more -- exploring every possibility is what brought me to blogging. The Minxdom is actually not my first blog. However, it is the most significant.

To explore, through writing, in this medium, as i said, is often a de facto excuse to self explore. Which can get a little navel-gaze-y. Ugh. However, not all navel gazing is boring. It is my firm contention that, despite much of the real world being all above board and safe for work, the remainder of it is obsessed with.... (drum roll)....

sex

Stop laughing at me.

Let's *explore* further shall we? (Heh.) Look at some of the synonyms for "Explore":

*Oh, before i continue. Since many of you have delicate sensibilities (a synonym for "i read this blog at work and the IT guy is a perv himself but can't bear for anyone else to have any fun"), i will respect that and not write anything NSFW. Well nothing that's *too* NSFW. Heh.

burrow - i know I've used that word somewhere in an erotic piece somewhere.

delve into - borderline, i admit... but maybe my mind is more firmly ensconced in the gutter than yours. Heh.

probe - a word more commonly associated with small town American farmers and alien landings, i grant you, but no one can deny the joy of a really good probe. (Into the other person's interests and feelings about world peace over a cup of coffee, of course... what else would i mean?)

Although, not everything is sex-related (...she lied through her teeth.) Take here, for example... this space; good old Doug, bless his floppy ears and wet nose; and good old Mr Bierce - lest i forget. The joy of exploring how the minds of the readers work when faced with the challenge of the day's definition has become one of my most recent and essential daily guilty pleasures. Not just to read the definitions, but to explore the spaces of those who comment here, and delight in the high-level wit of the suggested definitions.

No, I'm not crawling. Much. But i am being sincere. I like it here. I really do. Despite the fact that i have developed an astonishing ability to only be capable of writing definitions that involve my children (regardless of having a huge and awful fear of being a "Mommy blogger" - no offence to those who are, it's just not my cup of chai), i can promise you this: the Minx is here to stay.

About Evil Minx: I don't know who I was kidding yesterday. Minxie is the author of Emerging on The Other Side, a blog of erotic fiction, opinion and expression. She is, you see, a purveyor of all things Minxish. Yes, I know, erotic writers two weeks in a row. This used to be such a nice site, too.

One of the first things you notice at her site is the strength of the bond between Minxie and her readers. Many of her current readers were have been readers for over a year and they have gone through trauma, drama and troubles together. The friendship is based not only on the story but the storytelling which touches a range of emotions, naughty and happy then wholesome or scary then funny. Whichever mode Minx writes in, she stays engaging and engaged with her many friends who include Gnat's Trumpet.

Minxie is married, not that there's anything wrong with that, and has two children. The Evil One is a British ex-pat, living somwhere in the Meditteranean. Somehow I always knew I'd write that.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Just so you know, next week's guest is the last one on my list, so those of you who are sitting around having squirelly thoughts like "I want to but I haven't been around long," or "Gee Willickers, am I good enough?" please get over yourselves and drop me a line. Ain't no got to but a want to.

Desiccate

DESICCATE, v.t. To make dry.

How noble to the pulpit leaps,
The mighty desiccator,
The audience profoundly sleeps-
Slow snores the great creator.
-Shelley

2006 Update: To philosophize, moralize or bathe.

Thank you to Minka for submitting this cartoon despite being usurped, displaced, delayed and desiccated by a daughter of the Huns this morning.

Ritualism

Ritualism, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.

2005 Update: The discipline of the devoted non-believer.

The Court Stenographer

Story #48, In which justice is served.

Oyez! Oyez!
















Transcript follows

Today in The Prattler, Needless Things

Retaliation

RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.

2006 Update: The revenge of the pious against a bystander.

Twice

TWICE, adv. Once too often.

2006 Update: Incessantly.

Special Guest E.D. Therapy

This week, I'm pleased to have Jenna Howard, the little blue pill as guest.

Jenna was asked to define the only possible word she might have been, Trollop.

TROLLOP, n. a woman perceived as sexually disreputable or promiscuous.

Disreputable? Moi?!? Hm. Perceived which makes me a tease! Gasp! Not me! Never me! I was told to keep this PG-13. I'm struggling. I haven't been PG-13 in a loooong time. I'm more of a Rated R (that's R for raunchy!) kinda girl. Will try.

A young writer (very cute at that) says to her mom: "So, you do know what I write, right?"

Mom to young (and adorable) writer: "Of course. Your mom's been around for awhile."

Young (and sassy) writer shudders at that thought while wonders if Mom understands exactly what "erotic romance" means and what it means that her very precious daughter is writing the stuff. Erotic Romance: hotsa motsa stories with lots and lots of sex and romance…emphasis on romance. A happily ever after is a must (without a happy ending full of love and romance this becomes porn and gasp! I'm way to adorable to write porn) plus the hotsa motsa, wild monkey sex scenes (read: sexually disreputable). Sweet.

Young (and very savagely grr) writer: "Oooh-kay. Don't say I didn't warn ya."

Weeks later. Phone rings. Mom: "Um. Yes. Your story - I started to read it. It's very, um, well…"

Young (and naughty) writer: "Sexy?"

Mom: "Hm. Yes. It's also very um, hm…"

Daughter: "Explicit?"

Mom: "Hm. Yes. Is the rest of the story like this?"

Daughter: "Oh…totally."

Mom: "Hm. Yes. Well…hm. And your other stories? Are they like this?"

Daughter: "Oh absolutely. Without a doubt."

Mom: "Um. Hm. Yes."

Daughter: "Bye, Mom!"

Mother's favorite child is, by all accounts, a trollop. Her writing is sexually disreputable. Waa-hoo!! She can no longer brag about daughter's writing to all her friends and family. Daughter is now…a trollop, so declared by Doug. Hurrah! A trollop! Whooo! Yeah baby! (punches fist in the air) I'm a trollop!! Mamas, lock up your sons.

Also see Rated R; Little Blue Pill; Tease; Hussy; Chief Naughty Sexpot

About Jenna Howard: Jenna is the author of Afterthoughts and a contributor to Indulge. She is the eloquent unveiler of nuanced erotic literature, her signature style being a victorian sensibility and sanitary prose with which she contrasts the profundity of adult relationships built from intellectual, emotional and spiritual engagement with the superficiality of strict social morés. Nah, just messin' with ya. It's sex with werewolves. A brazen hussy, painted harlot and gal-about-town, I hope to never meet a women with laxer morals unless I have change for a five-dollar bill (Canadian.)

Ms. Howard brings flagrant fun with her to all the blogs she visits. Among the many reasons to admire Jenna, her enthusiasm to portray herself in bad light brightens the space. She's funny, flirty and always willing to drop a big hint or lyse a single-celled organism. As the one-and-only Little Blue Pill, Jenna played a big role in challenging this site to take itself less seriously. I pity the Calgary clergy.

Another side of Jenna deserves recognition, as well. A loving daughter, Jenna lost her father earlier this year. Between the adult fictions, she writes with equal eloquence and candor about the enduring pain of a girl losing the biggest man in her life. Those posts and that side of Jenna merit a somberer appreciation and a more faithful affection which those of us who have come to know her online are only too happy to offer. Thanks to Jenna for a great guest post and for being a daily part of the online adventure.

How to be a future guest on this site: Just send an email to dpascover at mac dot com. On a future Wednesday, after posting that week's guest, I'll send you an email with a word to define. You'll be expected to return your definition along with a graphic representing either your definition or yourself by the following Saturday. The only rules are no profanity and no novels, please. And whatever I make up at the last minute.

Luminary

LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

2006 Update: Someone who holds a special expertise with which to enlighten society such as a former candidate, a neighbor, a drunkard or a tomcat.

Freedom is on the march in June! Today is the California primary and I will be serving as a precinct clerk, checking registrations and gumming tapioca pudding with strained green beans. Be sarcastic to one another as I would be sarcastic to you.

On this day in 2005 a Scandinavian explorer first reached these shores. Nobody comment until Minka gets here!

Lock-and-Key

LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.

2006 Update: The solution to the problem of privacy in an urbanized world and the origin of the picked lock and lost key. Happily, these problems have been solved with the user ID and password along with online banking and encryption.

Kyahgirl has kindly contributed a story to Doug Drones On. Kyahgirl, it turns out, has a lovely voice, a Canadian accent and tells a funny story. Come find out what it's about. And breaking news! Pansi, my one true love has posted as well.

La Chienne Chanteuse

Story #47, because if you want to call a tune, you got to pay the piper. Yeah, yeah, Sar.

To hear the story, rosin up the fiddle


To read the story, walk the dog




This week in The Prattler, The Liberal Memorial suggested by this post on Wonderland or Not.

Beggar

BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

2006 Update: A captain of industry at home or an oracle anywhere.

Scribbler

SCRIBBLER, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.

2006 Update: A qualified physician or critic.

Big news, y'all. Indie, after an extended "sabbatical" has posted his pyramid story. For those of you who are new to blogging or this corner of it, Indie is one of the writers I look up to, although not necessarily for work ethic. Please go to his site and read his story then come back here so we can discuss it.

And Rabbit, Rabbit!

A note for those who may not be used to my sense of humor: The line about coming back here to discuss Indie's story was a joke. The Synchronicity of Indeterminacy is a great place to discuss his stories.